HELLO. hello? WHO ARE YOU? i'm you. OH. YOU AREN'T GONNA FOLLOW ME IN THE BATHROOM ARE YOU? no i was gonna wait here. do you need a hand? NOPE. (time passes) STILL HERE HUH? yep. you could say there we're kinda attached. can't go too far without running into me. AH. HUNGRY? I HAVE SOME CANDY IN MY POCKET. nah, you don't really wash your hands too well when you got to the bathroom. that kinda grosses me out. ME TOO, BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. WHAT'S ON TELEVISION? nothing interesting, but we could always find reality t.v. I LOATHE REALITY TV. I know, except for FLAVOR OF LOVE!! are we a team now? NO I JUST KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT. your secrets are mine. as is the wang of justice. WANG OF JUSTICE. you since we were 10, i still have no regrets about naming him that. I SMELL SOAP. nah, you're just high. OH, OKAY THEN. SHOULD WE TELL THEM THAT THIS IS JUST A BORING CONVERSATION. they know that cause they can read. MAYBE SOMEONE WILL LAUGH. they don't have to laugh to be entertained. YEAH. but they will know how truly strange you are. I ONLY GIVE THEM ME IN DOSES. child size, cause you've been known to offend young and old. ONLY A TEASPOON. would tom myers do something like this. YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE. oh. was the answer yes? NO. you sure. WHAT? STOP, JUST GIVE A NICE PHRASE TO END ON AND BE DONE WITH IT. k tom... "don't ever stop for a frog that's in the street. this one time my uncle was at an atm taking out money and a frog hopped up next to him. the frog was down on his luck and asked for some change for a meal. my uncle took the frog out for mcdonald's and let him order while he used the restroom. the frog kept the change people. so don't stop for a frog cause they steal people, cause they steal." OOOOOOOKAY. STRANGER THAN I WAS EXPECTING.... CIAO BABIES.
Last night was not the first appearance steppin out for me. But it was that first time I saw people that I actually recognized. Topaz was something else last night and the crowd(6 of us) were a tad cold. I couldn't really laugh out loud cause my allergies were killing me. And to set the record straight because my girlfriend and I had a conversation about this: Last night, Ryan Conner went on and I was sneezing my ass off and after his set the show was soon over so it was time to say goodbyes. He had seen my snot rag! and yeah I still bring a snot rag in public with me when I'm feelin' blue. So, even after hearing the "Handshake with wet hands set" I still stick my hand out for him to shake it. I love the guy but you should have seen the look on his face. It still makes me laugh, I picture a little voice in his head saying "OH, NO, He.... Didn't!" But shook non the less. I like that and as I explained to her, I kept the snot rag away from my shake hand and would never do that to anyone but a Greek. But that's another story(every Greek person I've ever met has been more attractive than me; I'm insecure). There were some people that I had just met and some ol' sweethearts like Aparna, Jeff Maurer, Danny Rouhier, and then I saw him with my own eyes...POON. Once I realized he was there I told myself there was no leaving. I needed to discover what everyone meant. The man's got a hell of a reputation. And, he wasn't the slightest bit rude to me when I asked him an odd question way before our intro and before the show. Genius. I loved his act and it's definitely not something that you see from other people on stage. I'm jealous....but he knew that already. Well, if anyone will start to read this again, I'll try to write. November is looking good for me. Hyatt-955 club. In October I'm tryin out the Richmond Funnybone to see how that works out and who knows.... So, I'm not going away and most importantly I just wanna tell some fuckin' jokes. Love Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I blog during work to keep from sleeping. Unless people from my job are monitoring this, in which case "I love my job; I have a family". My dog Max is the man too. Other than that I think reading this blog gives a pretty good idea of what I'm about. Red Jell-o, need I say more.