Cars

This has been a pretty boring day at work so I've been daydreaming a lot. I thought back on this car that I bought about a year ago. This whole story actually happened to me so I hope that you find it helpful and entertaining. I saw this used car for sale and it was a 1998 Buick Riviera. It was instantly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen that couldn't somehow have sex with me. Everything was clean and it only had like 60K miles on it. So I wanted to buy it. The man told me that instead of just selling it he was putting it on display and then selling it on Ebay. But he told me not to worry since I made my offer first he said I would have a chance to beat any offer that won. Clearly he had never used Ebay before, but neither had I. So I went about my business for the next several days. Then comes the day of the bid closing. I call just to verify that nothing is gonna change once the close is over and with about 7 hours to go he tells me that I better get online. Apparently when you bid online there is a reserve for the item that you are buying. Now, you don't know what the reserve is because it's a secret, but if the closing bid is over the reserve then the seller has to sell it to that person(I think there is a law backing it up to.) So I rush home and realize that I don't even currently have an online provider. I had AOL but thought it was a waste of money. But since I was in an impatient mood I decided to go ahead and get the high speed internet access that Cox Communications offers. I got the install yourself pack because I needed it now and not in three months. Might I say that I also bought a Netgear Wireless Router and for the little amount that I spent on it, it is flawless. I am a happy customer and I don't care who knows it. After purchasing the equipment I sent my girlfriend to get the box before the store closes. She comes back without the box. Bastard. So I am now forced to go to her family's house and use their internet to bid on this car. Which is awkward seeing that her mother has actually told me that if she knew a hitman I'd be dead, and used the words "with his black ass" on numerous occasions. While bidding I made that mistake of letting my girlfriend sit down at the computer. The Bidding Starts: We're winning throughout the last 5 min. Until someone bids. We bid back. Someone bids. And the cycle continued for the last 45 sec. Of the bid. With like 11 sec. Left my girlfriend turns around and tells me that I was outbid again. I immediately tell her to bid again; Too late. So I didn't get the car. But I wasn't about to let that stop me.
I began to search for another Buick Riviera that was around the same year and mileage but it was not easy. All of them were dogged out and one guy wanted 5000 for a car with 300,000 miles on it. And didn't even ask me if I smoke before he said it. Can you believe that shiggity? So I find one that I feel I could work with at a place that rhymes with Emvee Motors. Their name is DMV Motors, but would I be considered liable if all the bad shit I say about them it true and I have a witness? Anyway, We go up there and there is a Turkish man selling cars from what appears to be a giant cardboard box with siding on it. I try not to judge too quickly but I could sense white trash all around. And that there were. So I go to the car and it needs some work but it's not so bad that I walked away. The problem comes when they try to start it. Then after the 20th time it wouldn't cooperate I had to use the big boy voice. All I really said was that I would give them half the money they wanted today and the other half when the car was functioning properly. I told them I would be back within two weeks and I wouldn't be calling to alarm them of my visit. They fixed that problem and I bought the car about two weeks later. However, the day that I got there to pick it up there was a declined sticker on the windshield that I somehow overlooked. He told me that in one more day he could have it passed. I have a good mechanic so I told him that was not necessary. That's where I officially burned that money up. So he gives me that title to this piece and I can't do shit with it before I get it to pass inspection. Cause it's got temp tags. So I take the car and ask for the bare estimate to get it to pass inspection. My mechanic tells me that for a little more than half of what I paid he could sprinkle magic on it and pray. I was fucked. So I park this piece in a parking lot outside of my neighborhood for the time being. Well over the course of one month I saw a lot of strange things. Someone pulled the temp tags on the front off. But why? Then my girlfriend's mother was too happy to tell me about how the city towed it away. Great, so a couple months later( because I didn't even bother to go looking for it) I decide to follow it up. I find the place that has it and do you know what they told me. "You can pay us 725 fir the car or you can pay us 725 and tell us to junk it." Naturally I had it junked and paid them, but neglected to remember a CD book and a smooth ass black Kangol hat. Pimplicious, right?! Well that's my story of my own stupidity and how two swindlers took advantage of my crippling disease. And remember: THE MORE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!