More of my awkward life.

So on Saturday I had to go by a friends house on my way home and I had one of the more awkward moments of my young, short, life. I'll be brutally honest and tell you that the story involves drug use and I'm not proud of that, but I want to give a full recount of what happened. So my friend Bill and I go over to this guy Stu's house. We were picking up something for ourselves and I believed that this was going to be a quick in and out. How stupid of me. Upon getting there Bill took a seat and I realized that he had tricked me. We were staying for a few minutes. No big deal cause I like Stu. But Stu is one of those people that jokingly but not really, acts like he's god in his house. He could shit on your shoe and then tell you to get out cause it's HIS HOUSE. I know he's joking but then again, he can't be joking completely. Since I don't know him that well and I'm just a random black guy I try to keep me mouth shut when around him. Now I should also mention that when we arrived it was only Stu and his sister. Then after I'd purchased what I came for he asked me to sit and have a blunt. Words that further meant I wasn't getting out any time soon. Then he says wait cause his brother is coming. SHIT. His brother brings his girlfriend with him, who was hotter than I'd prepared myself for. I mean she was smoking hot. I mean she was bad. Sexy(okay I'm good now). Then Stu's girlfriend shows up. Then another brother that's all tattooed up comes in and he looks like he's cast in PrisonBreak. So finally the bands all here and it's been like 45 minutes. Far longer than this little journey was meant to take. Everybody puts in but Bill. He was a little broke at the time. Stu starts jokingly telling Bill that there are too many people for this MEGA blunt and that he has to go. He points out that everyone threw in and even if they didn't that those are his brothers and girlfriends. THIS IS WHERE I FUCKED UP. I hadn't really said more than two words that night and for good reason. I, for some reason, thought now was a great time to hit them with a whammy that would solidify me as the funny guy in the house. I thought about it for a second and here goes: "Hey Bill, tell them about the times you offered to go down on me, isn't that kinda like being brothers?"- Tyler Richardson
The first person that my eyes met with was the PrisonBreak brother. He was not giving me a look of approval. No, if anything he looked like he wanted to hurt me and I don't think he has any gay friends. Silence. For about 25 seconds there was nothing. I have never felt more alone. Then I had to bear witness to the second act of our play. The Quickening. Bill shakes his head and with a smirk he said this aloud for all to hear: "Tyler, you don't know these people. They don't like that shit. What would make you say some gay shit like that anyway? What the fuck is wrong with you?"- Asshole turncoat friend
I then had nothing else to do but sit there as that one guy without a friend in the world. I have the distinct feeling that had I not put in that I would've been asked to leave. Which really would've been awkward. That was a long blunt too. I had to keep my mouth shut while lame jokes about Brokeback Mountain are made and the hot girl had typical hot girl conversation. SHIT. When we did finally leave there was no dap to be given. I threw a wave and never looked back. The only thing that would've made that worse for me would've been if someone had said the words "GAY SHIT?!" right after I made my statement. I feel like had I heard that, I would've gotten up and just walked out, cause I already had my purchase and receipt. Or had Stu even jokingly told me to get out, I would've left. Never looking back to see if Bill followed me. If he was a smart man he would know when I wasn't coming back. Well that's yet another glimpse into my life and I hope we shared a chuckle. By the way, I listened to Elliot in the Morning today, and they played a call of a woman being tazed by a cop. I only pray that wasn't real cause he kept telling her to get out of the car. She didn't and he warned her. Then you could hear her being tazered, if that's even a word. Then for a minute they just laughed as she cried and sounded almost exactly like a hurt puppy. I was horrified. And then they just moved on to another caller and acted as though that wasn't the most haunting thing they could've played. I was speechless, and actually called people to see if they heard that too. How terrible. And she sounded hot too, I can only hope that she wasn't. We can't just start punishing pretty people. What motivation will ugly people have to succeed?