A play on Saturday...

Well, Saturday night I went to my good buddy Nelson's play at Marymount University. It was pretty awful. I love him and he entertains me without really having to say anything, but wow was I eager to leap out of a window.... but there wasn't a window. The part that upset me most was that people were pretending to shot themselves in the audience and sleeping. Then some of them started to get up and leave, but the thing that upset me most was that as they walked past me, I was still there. It was about an hour and a half of some chunky girl and Nelson READING from the script. They got away with this because the whole play was supposed to be them reading letters from each other throughout their entire lives. While they did skip some years, everyone found themselves hoping that these two character would just die already. But, instead of one of them getting hit by a bus or something we had to wait for the female to commit suicide. But, most of the fun of the evening took place after the show...
I was told that there was a guy that Nelson hated. Nelson has gone into graphic detail expressing how badly he would like to hurt this man, but you can kind of shrug it off since Nelson always goes into extremely graphic detail about anything he doesn't like. He's a little(more like a lot) over the top that way. But I still love him. I'm not perfect. Back to the bad guy. So, Nelson told me that there was this 21 year old guy that did the play with him and this kid was apparently a DOUCHE. But, the worst part was that this kid had the worst hair line I've ever seen. It was kind of sad, but Nelson did a pretty accurate job of describing this monstrosity before I even got there. Let's just say that when he's older he's either going to have the worst comb-over on the planet, or he'll have enough laughter in his direction that he'll shave it and become the UBER dork that God meant for him to be. I pray for the first one. When the play was over and everyone mingled, I made it a point to loudly bash this man's appearance. Not because I had to, but Nelson told me in advance that the kid needed to hear some serious shit talking and I'll do anything for a friend. But, when the cast went back to take the stage apart, the kid's family took my breathe away. The told him to pose and the made a yelp that you would expect the Jihad to make before a sacrifice. It was awkward and everyone who could hear it left the room immediately. Seriously. It was one of the weirder moments of 2006 for me. Oh, by the way, I di not go to New York, so no story there. And as for yesterday, well if you own Gears of War.... you understand.
I have to quit smoking. I got to work and was standing(not talking to) next to this guy when I noticed that his breathe was horrible. It really smelled like a man with shit on his feet was just dancing away in the back of his throat. So, minutes later I couldn't help but notice that I was still catching whiffs of this hideous smell. Then the truth sunk in. On this day, that bad breathe must belong to me. I just brushed and Scoped, how can this be? Doesn't matter, cause I guess that ciggy that I had on the way to work crushed that good breathe feeling and then had sex with it's girlfriend. So, now I have to go to the store and get more gum than any man can chew. I'll be damned if I'm gonna be that guy.
Congrats, to Erin Jackson. She not only deserves to win Baltimore's Funniest Comedienne, but she was the first person who I asked advice to and she had no problem reaching out to a newbie and giving some incite. So kudos to her and I'm sure there are much bigger things to celebrate in her future.
Well folks, that might have to do it for today. Laters....