That is snow on your shoes, I don't care if it tastes salty!

So here we are, it’s Tuesday again! UGGGGGGG!

New camcorder means new videos, oh the thinks you can think. That was always my favorite Dr. Suess book as a kid, yours? Riding with Strangers returns (Nelson thought up that name for the ensemble of himself, Kevin and I) and the ideas tickle me about as much as the new jokes I’ve written. Awkward stares, slapstick and a ton of swear words… I almost cam… never mind, I did.

My grandmother gave me porn last week and I too lazy to check to see if I wrote about that last week. Getting rid of smut, she knew one man who wouldn’t be able to turn it down… ahem. When she handed it to me I reacted as I normally do to smut, I started reading the back and trying to gauge if I would like it. About two words in it dawned on me, looking at porn (or just the box) in front of my grandmother was weird. I quickly flipped it over and got ready to stuff it in my bag-o-smut. While stuffing I swore I saw, in big yellow letters “TRANNY”… I let out a scream. “NO!!!!!” Granny naturally wondered why I let out that man-scream. I told her that if she had any tranny porn I was not interested and reached for the DVD, upon a second sneak peek at the cover (cause you never know what picture could be on the front of tranny porn) it actually read “Me So Yummy”. I overreacted, I apologized and continued to collect porn. The End…

Actually, let me just say, it is pretty unsettling watching something that you know your grandparents have watched. And, most likely watched it naked… UGGG! There was no jerk to those films, and to be honest I haven’t gotten the courage to put in another video after Nelson and I watched “Holes on a Hoe”… yep, that was the title.

New Year’s Resolution 2009: Build a time machine. It’s been the same since I saw Back to the Future II as a kid, and will remain that way til’ the day I die.

Although, if I was actually able to go back in time, even if only for 2 minutes, hear would be my message: “Little Deaven (yeah, that’s my name), never tell a girl you like her, you’ll get a lot more that way. Stop speaking your mind so much, especially in school, no one cares what you think but your mom. Kiss ass a lot more, you suck at it in the future! Could get you far in comedy if you get to it right off the bat… couldn’t hurt right? Lastly, learn to be cheap before you’re 23, you had a serious problem.”

I saw the Pursuit of Happyness last night and damn that Will Smith, I want to hate on him but he’s too talented. (sigh) I’m still not going to give a single minute of my life to Hancock though, that $#!T is trash.

While in the grocery store (I would never make these stories up, life is just too funny as it is) on Sunday Nelson and bore witness to something truly ignorant. We’re standing in line and someone hopped on the Announce system and said “I love FRIED CHICKEN”. No one really reacted, probably cause they thought they were above giving FRIED CHICKEN a response. I chuckled a little just because that’s a sign of a worker that really doesn’t know what is and is not appropriate. About 30 seconds later while any looks and chuckles over the last comment are fading to nothing we get blessed with the coup…. “GOD D_____T!” (Using what little faith I allow people to know I have, I refuse to blaspheme) I erupted into laughter that doubled me over. I don’t know why it’s so funny to me, but it was so awkward, I’d be crazy not to laugh. There were only two reactions in the supermarket, either you were laughing or you were uptight and genuinely upset that some kid swore like that for everyone to hear. Nelson laughed so hard that the stuff in his hands got loose and went rolling to the floor. Perhaps it was just that people were genuinely happy since it’s the holiday season, but it was great. Then we went home, drank beer and watched the video game awards. As proven by Tropic Thunder, Jack Black is funny again… even if you’re older than 5.

Tomorrow is yet another “spend money on your co-workers” day, just have to make it to Friday and then I’m home FREE (see how I stressed free, never mind, in hindsight it’s not as witty as I thought).

A Charlie Brown Christmas has been getting me through the last couple of days, since I watch it on repeat all day on the ol’ iPod. It almost makes me feel like a child again just watching it, what makes you feel that way.

I have the strange urge that I’m supposed to be a dad… perhaps my body is reacting weird to no “MJ” in a couple of weeks. I’ll take care of that soon enough.

Enjoy your Tuesday, Sean I feel like crap for missing out on the poop joke. Today is my last final though, we’ll run into each other sooner than you think. Unless you think tonight, cause then I can’t make it.

Peaces