Private Confessions …
“So, I was at the zoo with my family and we were watching the gorillas play. My son made said “look at Daddy’s face!” because I was staring with amazement. My daughter was the one who pointed out that I had an erection. Truth be told, it wasn’t the gorillas that gave me wood; I was looking past them toward the Panda area.” Donald ______
“I pick my nose and eat what I find more than I can count.” Wayland Smithers
“… yeah, but who hasn’t look at a really young kid inappropriately? (not me) Oh… well, never mind.” Jack ________
“Your face looks like someone hit you with a truck. Unfortunately, you lived and had to crawl through the desert on your face and chest. I imagine that when you reached the hospital you told the doctor’s to fix you up. But then you told them to leave your face the way it was because you wanted to remember what they did to you.” Mike Hernandez 01’
“Yeah, I jerk it at work sometimes.” ______ _______
“If I were gay…” ________ ________ (doesn’t really matter what is said next, you’ve made quite an accepting statement already)
“But who hasn’t laughed at Carlos Mencia at least once? (I haven’t) Oh.” Nathaniel _______
It’s been a little while and I’ve been surprisingly busy with life lately. Let me promote (puts on promoting gloves) before we get ahead of ourselves:
Baltimore Comedy Factory! Louis Ramey! Big Ben Kennedy! Tyler Richardson on the drums! It’s gonna be better than a high five! More like TWO HIGH FIVES!! This weekend.
It’s impossible for me to listen to Luther Vandross’ music without seeing him lip locking a man. It really makes Dance with my Father hard to swallow, but damn the piano is banging in the background.
I didn’t actually think that men needed to txt every woman that they’ve slept with and tell them when they’ve found someone special. What happens if you don’t? You start getting texts and calls from all of them because women can sense love and their first instinct is to call. If I were on Facebook this wouldn’t happen. But I’m not, and I’m lazy, so there.
Atif actually told me one of my jokes was dirty. That’s like having a rapist tell you that you need to calm down because you’re being too aggressive.
I’m gonna get some good pics of Baltimore this weekend, “or die tryin’.”
My grandmother is in Alaska at this very moment. I pray that no hunter mistakes her for a Sasquatch; being that they can’t see too many black people around those parts.
New favorite act in DC: Jack of all trades, I just like seeing him happy. He’s happy when he’s telling jokes.
And with that, we move onto the weekend.
Peaces
“So, I was at the zoo with my family and we were watching the gorillas play. My son made said “look at Daddy’s face!” because I was staring with amazement. My daughter was the one who pointed out that I had an erection. Truth be told, it wasn’t the gorillas that gave me wood; I was looking past them toward the Panda area.” Donald ______
“I pick my nose and eat what I find more than I can count.” Wayland Smithers
“… yeah, but who hasn’t look at a really young kid inappropriately? (not me) Oh… well, never mind.” Jack ________
“Your face looks like someone hit you with a truck. Unfortunately, you lived and had to crawl through the desert on your face and chest. I imagine that when you reached the hospital you told the doctor’s to fix you up. But then you told them to leave your face the way it was because you wanted to remember what they did to you.” Mike Hernandez 01’
“Yeah, I jerk it at work sometimes.” ______ _______
“If I were gay…” ________ ________ (doesn’t really matter what is said next, you’ve made quite an accepting statement already)
“But who hasn’t laughed at Carlos Mencia at least once? (I haven’t) Oh.” Nathaniel _______
It’s been a little while and I’ve been surprisingly busy with life lately. Let me promote (puts on promoting gloves) before we get ahead of ourselves:
Baltimore Comedy Factory! Louis Ramey! Big Ben Kennedy! Tyler Richardson on the drums! It’s gonna be better than a high five! More like TWO HIGH FIVES!! This weekend.
It’s impossible for me to listen to Luther Vandross’ music without seeing him lip locking a man. It really makes Dance with my Father hard to swallow, but damn the piano is banging in the background.
I didn’t actually think that men needed to txt every woman that they’ve slept with and tell them when they’ve found someone special. What happens if you don’t? You start getting texts and calls from all of them because women can sense love and their first instinct is to call. If I were on Facebook this wouldn’t happen. But I’m not, and I’m lazy, so there.
Atif actually told me one of my jokes was dirty. That’s like having a rapist tell you that you need to calm down because you’re being too aggressive.
I’m gonna get some good pics of Baltimore this weekend, “or die tryin’.”
My grandmother is in Alaska at this very moment. I pray that no hunter mistakes her for a Sasquatch; being that they can’t see too many black people around those parts.
New favorite act in DC: Jack of all trades, I just like seeing him happy. He’s happy when he’s telling jokes.
And with that, we move onto the weekend.
Peaces
1 comment:
"Atif actually told me one of my jokes was dirty. That’s like having a rapist tell you that you need to calm down because you’re being too aggressive."
Yo that joke was dirty,but you knew that. I was just surprised that something that dirty would come from you... No I wasn't but GIMME SHOTS!!
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