If you can't go out with me Saturday then would you at least bang me on Sunday?! I've got $70 bucks!

What’s new?
$#!T, same story different chapter. I had some sausage that doesn’t agree with me last night…
Too much information after I asked what’s new. That’s 12:11 pm conversation and it’s only 9:42 am. Let’s play a game…
Okay.
Word Association, you’re first, ready?
Milk
Bitty
Smile
Bitty
Seriously?
Bitty
No, I mean are you seriously going to say that no matter what word I throw at you?
You’re right, I’ll throw out a word… Dexterity
Umm…
Homeostasis
Uh…
Sarcophagus
Mmmm…
Supercalafragilis…
Okay, I don’t really know what the other ones mean but I know that ain’t a word.
Too right, forget it, you’ve got “Bitty” on the mind and my vocabulary’s too short for this game.

Yesterday I got to see a man discover that his Escalade had just been put on cinder blocks… what is it about other people’s pain that brings me such joy?

For anyone that was paying attention, Mr. Cousson was blogging for “I don’t know how many” consecutive days. That has apparently come to a stop and part of me thinks it’s because he’s fallen in with a cult. Until we hear from his blog again I’d like that to be the rumor about him. Young people are impressionable and often fall in with the wrong crowd. Let us pray they don’t claim young Atif as well. With the balls it took for Justin to begin his last blog with a picture of Chris Haynes and Atif’s Man-ificent beard, that cult could begin selling the most disturbing porn known to man. “Blue Beard and J wit da BIG nuts: Winter Break Edition”… Find him Atif, find him.

“I want Bitty… but Mommy I want Bitty now” that phrase from Little Britain USA never gets old to me. Every week I find the show getting funnier and funnier to me. Could be that I love Britain humor (no punchlines) or it could be that they sandwiched it in between Entourage and Life and Times of Tim. Whatever, it’s hilarious.

Fable II is not that great, I watched Nelson play for awhile before realizing that I could turn my controller on and get in there with him. Maybe it’s because RPGs take too long for this ADD wannabe, or maybe it’s because of how simple the controls are. I’ll pass, but GEARS OF WAR 2 arrives in just about two weeks. WOOT!!!!
Bitty.


If anyone heard of who made it through Baltimore’s round of Stand Up for Diversity please say something. For crying out loud these blog-a-majigs are supposed to be for learning. And trash talk… Eli Sairs is smelly. So there…

I keep writing jokes and fighting the urge to drive out and say them. It’s like fighting a good “jerkin” when no one’s around and www.youporn.com is streaming at it’s fastest. Maybe this is God’s way of telling me to jerk it, or get out of the house and perform. Probably the second one, “Okay God, okay.”

Does a desk bigger than your friends make you feel better than them? Yes, because going over to visit my friend Jeff who recently got a promotion meant seeing him sitting at a desk that he could have paper football tournaments on. Is it sad that was my first thought other than “Wow, he must get all kinds of work done here…”? Of course not, I was a paper football champion in high school. It never goes away, “I scored five touchdowns in a single game!”

For those that aren’t Married with Children buffs, that last quote up there was Al Bundy’s claim to fame. That, and “Let’s Rock”.

“If I had a million dollars! I’d probably have you shot.”

That’s a little diddy that my friend used to sing in Basic Training. What’s sad is that for the first time since I got out of AIT in TX back in 01’ I honestly can’t remember his name. He was the funniest guy I’ve ever met and now I can’t even remember his name, I remember his face clear as day though. Laziness made me break my promise that my clan from Basic and AIT would keep in touch, don’t let it happen to you people.

I watched a grown man look away while receiving his flu shot earlier this morning. That is the gayest thing I’ve seen all month. What grown man should be afraid of a needle, unless it’s going into your heart through your sternum. That’s reason to be scared.

Well ya’ll, it’s time for me to get some of this “work” done. I’ve treasured our time together today and hope that you watch that Jay-Z video from yesterday and go find the full song somewhere.

Laters (or as the Fowlest would say)… Peaces

Because I care, I give you.... Two-Face & STORM SHADOW!!!!!

Nothing feels worse than being close to a female and being told that you smell of alcohol. That happened twice last night (Sarah, Staci)... I haven't been that embarrassed in some time. That's about the point when I shut up. No gum was in my pockets. I try to be more professional these days but every now and again I have a slip up. Last night was definitely the case, I was too drunk and got on stage. Could've been worse but take it from me, you don't want to be that guy. Feels like $#!t. But, like I said, I'm working on that.

JUSTIN COUSSON, you have to give me your gamertag in order to start this thing.... Devo2021, now all you have to do is friend request me.

I will have updates on the GTA IV violence Justin and I spread later, "Oh yes, there will be blood".

Call me nuts, but I think I'm bring sexy back today.... just a feeling. Be jealous.

But Tyler... "Yes, inner Tyler" What's going on in the news today? Anything interesting? "Funny you should ask, Ahem": Did you know that 10-year-olds can give birth?

ST. ANTHONY, Idaho — A suspected illegal immigrant has been charged with raping a 10-year-old girl who later gave birth in eastern Idaho.
The girl gave birth less than two weeks ago by caesarian section at Madison Memorial Hospital in Rexburg, Fremont County Sheriff Ralph C. Davis and other authorities said. Officials would not disclose the gender, date of birth or paternity of the baby.
"I wouldn't have believed a 10-year-old could conceive in the first place," Davis said.
A hospital spokeswoman would not discuss the condition of the girl or the baby and would not say whether either was still in the hospital Wednesday.
The story was first reported by KIDK Television in Idaho Falls.
St. Anthony police began investigating on April 28 after medical officials reported a pregnant child, and Guadalupe Gutierrez-Juarez, 37, of St. Anthony, was arrested the same day, Police Chief James Smith said.
"We had good information from witnesses," Smith said.
In documents that were filed April 29 in 7th District Court and obtained by The Associated Press, Gutierrez-Juarez is charged with one count of rape. He remained in jail with bail set at $250,000 pending a preliminary hearing May 13. Authorities said Gutierrez-Juarez did not have legal documentation to live in the United States. His home town and nationality were not immediately clear, but police said they had received no complaints about him before investigating the pregnancy.
The investigation was continuing. Smith would not give details on the condition of the girl but said additional counts of rape could be filed.
"The prosecutor is still considering doing that," he said.
Prosecutor Karl H. Lewies did not return telephone calls Wednesday from The AP.
Child protection laws prohibit the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare from confirming whether the agency was contacted about the case, spokesman Tom Shanahan said.
"In a situation like that, we probably would be contacted by the hospital," Shanahan said. "If there was a crime committed we would be working with local law enforcement."
If the girl's home is found to be unsafe, a custody hearing would be held immediately and the courts would decide where to place her, Shanahan said.
"If they decide the child needs foster care, we would do that immediately," he said.
While a 10-year-old giving birth is highly unusual, it is not impossible, said Laurie Krieger, a medical anthropologist in Washington D.C.
"We do know that girls in the U.S. are menstruating sooner," a development which can speed up the production of sex hormones and make pregnancy possible earlier than might have been thought likely, Kreiger said.
Nutrition, body mass and other factors, including the fact that children in the United States weigh more than in past generations, contribute to early menstruation, she added.

If the reasoning behind Damone Miller's name change that I heard was correct, that's f*ckin' hysterical. I hope it's true. Randolph wouldn't lie.

So, yeah. Have a Happy Hersday everybody. See you at the Drafthouse... I think.