To the beach James, and do it... sexy

I'm excited for a few reasons today:

1. Get to use some leave and get out of work at 1:30


2. Quality time in the car jammin' and probably watching Superbad


3. Going to a new club for the first time

Hopefully, Va Beach Funnybone is kind and full of people that love to hand out high fives. That's the perfect atmosphere for a young swede like myself. "Your Swedish?" Nope, but when I dream I only see myself as a young man dancing on the hills... and making out with that lady from the Sound of Music. But, that's a story for my psychologist's ears and not yours. Moving on...

My boss gave me the best good morning ever since he thought tomorrow was my last day in my current position. Seemed a little down when I corrected him with "Oh, actually next Friday is my last day", then there was a slip up on words. I said "Yeah, I'm gonna have a Snickers" he said "I'm sorry what was that?" I repeat "Snickers, that's how I celebrate everything". Yet again, he seemed a little down... I wonder what he thought I said instead of Snickers? (Strippers, Stickers, Smuckers... hmmm)

To anyone that woke up before 6 am this morning, I feel your pain. But a little secret from me to you, if you sleep at just the right times in your commute you'll catch up on that extra hour. Just remember to open your eyes when coming to a light and when you squint, make sure that you keep one eye on the brake lights ahead of you. But careful, my momma's out there in traffic too.

Ever heard a man who is (horribly) disabled tell a 9/11 joke? I have, and I immediately lost all sympathy for his plight. Not cause I cared about 9/11 (though I did tear up, A LOT, while watching World Trade Center last week) but because he proved that he had a black heart just like me. Before he spoke I was under the impression that most of his thought revolved around hope, equality and acceptance... proved me wrong though. Touche' Mr. Crazy Legs, touche.

Be nice to your grandmothers cause one day she'll do your taxes. And if you're not nice to her she'll send them out without your signature on them or your direct deposit information. Then you'll have to wait for 20 to 28 days AFTER the IRS has received it to expect them to mail you a check. I'm not that old so I've never filed what might as well be called "Paper Filing" but I imagine this is exactly what the early 90's were like... Hell. So tell Granny that you love her, and not to f@ck you on your taxes.

I want to put a banzai tree at my new desk but if I ever saw someone walk up and touch it I would flip out and touch their face.

Ugly people do not make beautiful children, someone has to bring something to the table. Almost everyday I look behind me at this woman's pictures, and oh my is she proud, and I make a face every time. One of them, whom I loath, does work with me. But, they are the definition of one of the 1,000 reasons I don't want daughters: "Aw, you look just like your Dad" those are words that no female should hear, but I'm willing to bet they are very familiar with that saying. By the way, the Dad looks like he's done a stretch in Rikers. Yeah.

This morning the first words I heard before I could turn on a television were "Hey, you got a plunger?"- Kevin

I'll type for a little tomorrow and hopefully I'll have nothing but good vibrations. Laters