I keep having the same idea for convincing my sister not to put any thought into intercourse: make her watch porn featuring me. The sneak attack is what I would use, don’t want her agreeing to watch my stroke… that’s disgusting. But a simple “Hey, check out this clip from That’s So Raven…” and I’ll have her doped. As soon as I hit play there is body paint, toe sucking’, ass slapping, blasphemy, oral, choking, gagging, more oral and as always the high five during doggy that is now trademarked into all of my films. I’ll scare her away because once she realizes that what she witnessed was just scratching the surface of a man’s creative and sexual mind she’ll need to study. Or make sure she’s in love first. Plus I’ll threaten her…
Today I’m going to the DMV. There’s nothing funny about that.
Well iPhone users (soon to be brothers and sisters), today the OS 3.0 went live, let the downloading begin.
The other day I had a terrible case of “Spicy Twice” (spicy going in, extra spicy coming out) but experienced rape-ish pain for the first time in my life. I questioned if I would make it in to work the next morning because it rocked me that bad. I was unable to wipe so I stood there clenching and switching tissue. All I could think was “is this what it feels like when you wake up in prison and just know you’ve been raped?”
The kid who murdered his family because they took away his Halo 3 privileges received a life sentence. Thank God, crazy people like that give video gamers a bad name and he would’ve killed anyway. Whether it was because his wife cheated or someone smudged his Puma, maybe just because it was a Tuesday, he was a killer. Let the animals in prison make love to him until he is sane.
Whenever I think of Will Smith’s son playing the lead in the Karate Kid remake it really stabs a part of my childhood. Cute kid, but I’d rather they made 50 year old Ralph Macchio look like a young twenty-something again. Let the ghost of Pat Mortia play Mr. Myagi… oh Jackie Chan. Where is Jet Li when you need him?
I enjoy seeing at what point during a Lil Wayne song my family will decide they have heard enough. For my mother last night the song was his Drought 3 remix of Upgrade You. My mother made it to “If you don’t like it n*gga f*ck you no Vaseline!” before she began reaching and saying “Okay now, turn it off.” Oh Weezy, you devil…
Sleeping… gorilla hand job… no wait, fat woman dream where all of the creases make a sexual sound whilst I get it on. Mmm, oh no, heres the poo- “ding”. Dynamite!
Lastly, in the short wick of this blog candle allow me to show you a reason why on Friday I will $#!T… with joy: http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-10266380-1.html?tag=rb_content;tabbedPromoUnitHolder Let the feast begin!
Peaces
Today I’m going to the DMV. There’s nothing funny about that.
Well iPhone users (soon to be brothers and sisters), today the OS 3.0 went live, let the downloading begin.
The other day I had a terrible case of “Spicy Twice” (spicy going in, extra spicy coming out) but experienced rape-ish pain for the first time in my life. I questioned if I would make it in to work the next morning because it rocked me that bad. I was unable to wipe so I stood there clenching and switching tissue. All I could think was “is this what it feels like when you wake up in prison and just know you’ve been raped?”
The kid who murdered his family because they took away his Halo 3 privileges received a life sentence. Thank God, crazy people like that give video gamers a bad name and he would’ve killed anyway. Whether it was because his wife cheated or someone smudged his Puma, maybe just because it was a Tuesday, he was a killer. Let the animals in prison make love to him until he is sane.
Whenever I think of Will Smith’s son playing the lead in the Karate Kid remake it really stabs a part of my childhood. Cute kid, but I’d rather they made 50 year old Ralph Macchio look like a young twenty-something again. Let the ghost of Pat Mortia play Mr. Myagi… oh Jackie Chan. Where is Jet Li when you need him?
I enjoy seeing at what point during a Lil Wayne song my family will decide they have heard enough. For my mother last night the song was his Drought 3 remix of Upgrade You. My mother made it to “If you don’t like it n*gga f*ck you no Vaseline!” before she began reaching and saying “Okay now, turn it off.” Oh Weezy, you devil…
Sleeping… gorilla hand job… no wait, fat woman dream where all of the creases make a sexual sound whilst I get it on. Mmm, oh no, heres the poo- “ding”. Dynamite!
Lastly, in the short wick of this blog candle allow me to show you a reason why on Friday I will $#!T… with joy: http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-10266380-1.html?tag=rb_content;tabbedPromoUnitHolder Let the feast begin!
Peaces
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