Good-bye Richmond, I think you have my Coldplay CDs

A quickie is what I have to give today. Let’s roll through the highlights of the weekend:
Got to feature two of the four nights, loved every moment of that.

Kenny Smith, the coolest feature I’ve met, invited me to stay at the condo… I accepted.

Aisha Tyler was incredibly cool, I expected a much more serious woman, hooray for surprises.

I had not tasted cake on a stick (like a lollipop) and now that I have I know I’m a man.

I wrote some new jokes, yeah, that’s just a filler but you’ll like the next point.

BOOTLEG DVDs! The condo just had them lying about, you’ll find out which ones shortly.

After stumbling through the tall grass, Kenny and I watched Ninja Assassin, awesome movie that was not given it’s due. There wasn’t a lot of dialogue from the main character and the story was pretty weak but I just wanted to see some action. I believe they delivered on that beautifully.

I noticed Twilight: New Moon was sitting near the DVD player…

The next day Kenny and I went in search of grub, we found a Chipotle after driving past two and many other restaurants.

My burrito was too packed with rice so when I took a bite the back shot off and it became a tunnel for meat to fall onto my plate. While Kenny enjoyed his burrito as I’m accustomed to, like a normal person, I had my face on the plate scooping into my mouth like his homeless “little brother.” It was still a darn good burrito though.

We got back and watched Twilight: New Moon with the shades drawn. Not out of shame, but because I couldn’t soak in all that goodness with the glare going. I give it a B-, couldn’t done for more shirt on that Indian.

I’ve discovered that Red Bull is probably better than beer for me when I’m going on stage. Creativity 1, Alcoholism 54.

Nelson got his geek on with Aisha and her sister Feri. I believe that Feri walked away with the crown but Nelson has thrown himself into comic books since we got back just in case he runs into them again. He won’t, but if he did I think it would be funny if he still lost.

The last night at the condo was weird because a drunk person who shall remain nameless got really racist when he smoked “the pot.” Potheads are supposed to be happy people but he stalked up and down that condo making fun times into awkward sandwich. Then we watched Ninja Assassin again.

That’s the highlights, I may have omitted some things that would’ve taken forever to type but it was an awesome week. I’m going to try to blog again before the week is done. But there will be many pictures from the heart of Nebraska by Sunday (or Monday if I’m a lazy dick about it) so look out white people; TRich is comin!

Peaces

Hey, look at me, I'm doing stuff

And what a wild week it has been. I don’t know where to start so let’s just skip all of that and get to good ol’ fashioned non-sense. Let me just say that if you’re in Richmond, as some of yuns are, I’m hosting from Aisha Tyler at the Funnybone and Kenny Smith (awesome guy) is featuring all week (starting with our great show last night). Let there be funny…

I am settling into the Prius now, I’ve figured out how to maintain somewhere around MPGs without driving up the highway doing 20 MPH. Hi, I’m Tyler and I’m black… and green.

Is it weird that in these economically hard times I have had the best financial time of my life. I hate to think this may all end when the recession is “over.” Every time I hear that jobless claims have fallen I clutch my wallet like it’s the last time I’ll ever hold it. I made love to it last night just in case it’s not home when I get there.

My friend Jesse and I had an extremely geeky conversation that started with two men discussing Nicolas Cage and what happened to his career. Within two minutes it was two fan boys arguing (Jesse’s side) whether he was just incredible or (my side) any one could have done what he and Travolta did because the script was awesome. Ah, to be young.

Next week I plan on a picture adventure of Nebraska, I will go out of my way to take an uncomfortable pose with as many white elderly people as I possibly can. I don’t know; it’s just funny to me. (But Tyler, what’s a black guy doing in Nebraska? Is it safe for you there?) Well inner voice, I would rather wait and let the pictures tell my story. First week of May is Canada week: w00t!

I hate moving… that is all.

I ate enough Chipotle last week to feed a family of four. My only goal at this point is to make it to some level of recognition where I can work out a Jared/Subway relationship where I get free Chipotle all the time and I only have to give them my soul.

Is it weirder seeing a black guy going hard to Lil’ Wayne in a Prius or seeing a black guy in a Prius yelling and swearing at the top of his lungs at the dick in front of him? It’s been an interesting week.

Danger zone (like Top Gun/ Archer), sorry but if I don’t get them out of my system I’ll never have a real conversation with Aisha Tyler. “So, how old are you?” Danger Zone!

I have finally seen Black Dynamite and have to give it two guns up. Who knew Michael Jai White could be that funny? Classic.

Man I wish I could play the piano, but I’m way too lazy to learn. They need to make Piano Hero, I could pretend to soooo talented…

Sasquatch watchers: I don’t want you to feel under appreciated so as your Rat King I give to you (see below)