Forever Young

I just had a flashback of Charlie Day with his hands raised to the Lord, dancing as though a tear might fall from his eyes.... classic. Well, it's a rainy day again and the good Lord has decided to use his cruel sense of humor once again. There is an extremely hot woman that sits next to me and since I arrived she has been married so I treated her like any man should, a guy. Well, that time has come and gone and now it's official that she's getting divorced. She talked to me about dating(she just got ended a 5 year marriage and has already been on two dates, that almost makes me nauseous when I think of my ex and what she might have been doing then and now) and was asking some basic questions about the single life. But, all that goes through my mind no matter what is coming out of my mouth is "I should not have been myself around you" and that's the truth. Maybe if I had been a scumbag and always let it be known I'm attracted there would be some strange at the end of the tunnel... no? We'll move on.

If you see Big Al Goodwin, give him a big hug til' he gets upset and demands you let go of him. You know why? Because he is shooting a pilot for a network. That's about all I can say.... cause he couldn't share anymore information with me. Congrateys AL!

Jermaine Fowler is a hooligan! There Runteldat...

There is a story that is on the national news about the lady who just happened to have 4 dead children in her home in D.C., it's exciting to have something close by get this kind of national attention. The woman, unless she has got some serious proof, is completely bats#it crazy. Her excuse to how the children, which are conformed to be hers, died is that they all were possessed by a demon that killed them one week apart from each other. I'm almost gullible enough to buy that but the police said the oldest,17, had apparently been stabbed. One or more of the children had been bound, and a couple of the youngest ones had blunt force trauma to the head. Could it be that she saw the episode of the Boondocks where Uncle Ruckus beat Stinkmeiner out of Tom, and she attempted to do the same to her own children. "There's some powerful Nigg@try at work here"- Uncle Ruckus

P.S.- The B__ch is gonna fry man

Is anything sweeter than ruining the end of the last Harry Potter book for a procrastinating Harry Potter fanatic? I'm seriously contemplating telling this girl Amy that I work with what happened just to see her head explode. But, then that leaves more work for me and that is completely against the TRichardson code of work ethics. Code 154-862 stated "Never make a decision that will result in more work for Tyler. If more work is the result of one of your choices you are to seek out the nearest window on the fifth floor and toss yourself into the biggest crowd of people you see", I wouldn't make that up. There are like 975 pages in the code, and somehow a lot of them find some way to tell you hop out of a window. That TRich can write some code.

The survey for "stand up or sit down"(to wipe) is still ongoing with on 1, I repeat 1 person that has shared that they too stand their lazy a$$ up to wipe their most horrid of precious places. And, while most people at could hear what was going on were disgusted at us for standing, it could not compare to the look on our faces. Scoreboard: Standers 2, People that aren't getting all the marmalade 26. Don't give up on us though, this thing ain't over.

Well, I'm gonna split, I've got work to do and dragons to slay. Stay classy...

Laters

"Who wipes standing up?!"

Welcome back to another week in: (drum roll please) ..... Life :( But have no fear, the weekend can't be more than 8 or 9 days away, so there is hope. I hope that you all had a great weekend, Lord knows I did. Granted I saw most of you on Saturday night anyway, but let's pretend shall we. I got to sit on my butt on Saturday, but Sunday was one of those days where you have all types of things to take care of. The only one that I didn't mind doing was picking up my dog Max from the groomer and seeing what a sex-ified beast he is. Ah, to be young, furry, and F***in sexy. For those that are wondering, yes I'm still listening to Lupe Fiasco's The Cool everyday all day... I'm not joking. It is rare that we find an album like this and the last time I think I had this love was for T.I.'s Urban Legend. Ah, 2003... what a piece of $#*t year that was for me. Let's not reminisce anymore, most of my memories aren't that great.

"What the hell does that title mean?" Well I'm glad you asked random(comic) reader, apparently a good majority of the public is sitting while they wipe their behind. Call me nuts but for some things I believe you need to get up on your feet. I don't want to be gross but you're missing something if you don't stand up and get on at least one set of your tippy toes. Somebody comment and prove that I know what I'm talking about. I don't know how it came up but first Nelson said that he sits, then my friend Nate, then Kevin, then Leah, and so far I have yet to find someone that stands up like a homosapien. That's bush league folks. Someone even called me a child for standing... the audacity. Now yes, maybe this stand up habit developed cause as a child it was the only way to keep from Sh__ty draws(and keeping my mother from throwing them at me and screaming "Why can't you wipe your A$$!") but now it's just necessary. I could go on all day but I'll end it on this, a man could just pull really hard and get a condom on(God that would hurt, if it didn't break) but instead he rolls... he rolls. I'm just saying sometimes taking a few more seconds to do something get pretty orgasmic results. The Fowlest knows what I mean.

Yes, the Spy Lounge is still alive...

Tomorrow is Richmond Funnybone time. I have been rocking my own mixture of peach fuzz/facial hair because superstition has lead me to believe it helps me not bomb, but it's gonna be on TV. I really don't wanna look like a bum on Comcast, but I want the set to go well more than I care what I look like. You know what? I think I know what I'm gonna do.... Flash Cards. They help everything!

I recently had to make a call to someone who had a GOOD 3 minutes of shout outs, random slang, F__ck offs, guttural sounds, and lastly(I swear) a bit of prayer.... clearly there are no employers that just interviewed them getting ready to call. I keep thinking how funny it would be to change my voicemail to that for a while, but I don't want people thinking TRich has been kidnapped. Plus, my momma raise me better than that.

(I took a long break to run down to the store and pick up some snackies)

And what did I get you ask? A BIG ASS BAG O' JERKY!... and pink lemonade. My jaw kinda hurts but what would you go through for some good jerky right now? Would you kill... yeah you would. Bless you jerky, bless your delicious smoky ways and how you always vote Democrat. Go Obama!

Laters