"Who wipes standing up?!"

Welcome back to another week in: (drum roll please) ..... Life :( But have no fear, the weekend can't be more than 8 or 9 days away, so there is hope. I hope that you all had a great weekend, Lord knows I did. Granted I saw most of you on Saturday night anyway, but let's pretend shall we. I got to sit on my butt on Saturday, but Sunday was one of those days where you have all types of things to take care of. The only one that I didn't mind doing was picking up my dog Max from the groomer and seeing what a sex-ified beast he is. Ah, to be young, furry, and F***in sexy. For those that are wondering, yes I'm still listening to Lupe Fiasco's The Cool everyday all day... I'm not joking. It is rare that we find an album like this and the last time I think I had this love was for T.I.'s Urban Legend. Ah, 2003... what a piece of $#*t year that was for me. Let's not reminisce anymore, most of my memories aren't that great.

"What the hell does that title mean?" Well I'm glad you asked random(comic) reader, apparently a good majority of the public is sitting while they wipe their behind. Call me nuts but for some things I believe you need to get up on your feet. I don't want to be gross but you're missing something if you don't stand up and get on at least one set of your tippy toes. Somebody comment and prove that I know what I'm talking about. I don't know how it came up but first Nelson said that he sits, then my friend Nate, then Kevin, then Leah, and so far I have yet to find someone that stands up like a homosapien. That's bush league folks. Someone even called me a child for standing... the audacity. Now yes, maybe this stand up habit developed cause as a child it was the only way to keep from Sh__ty draws(and keeping my mother from throwing them at me and screaming "Why can't you wipe your A$$!") but now it's just necessary. I could go on all day but I'll end it on this, a man could just pull really hard and get a condom on(God that would hurt, if it didn't break) but instead he rolls... he rolls. I'm just saying sometimes taking a few more seconds to do something get pretty orgasmic results. The Fowlest knows what I mean.

Yes, the Spy Lounge is still alive...

Tomorrow is Richmond Funnybone time. I have been rocking my own mixture of peach fuzz/facial hair because superstition has lead me to believe it helps me not bomb, but it's gonna be on TV. I really don't wanna look like a bum on Comcast, but I want the set to go well more than I care what I look like. You know what? I think I know what I'm gonna do.... Flash Cards. They help everything!

I recently had to make a call to someone who had a GOOD 3 minutes of shout outs, random slang, F__ck offs, guttural sounds, and lastly(I swear) a bit of prayer.... clearly there are no employers that just interviewed them getting ready to call. I keep thinking how funny it would be to change my voicemail to that for a while, but I don't want people thinking TRich has been kidnapped. Plus, my momma raise me better than that.

(I took a long break to run down to the store and pick up some snackies)

And what did I get you ask? A BIG ASS BAG O' JERKY!... and pink lemonade. My jaw kinda hurts but what would you go through for some good jerky right now? Would you kill... yeah you would. Bless you jerky, bless your delicious smoky ways and how you always vote Democrat. Go Obama!

Laters