Big Takeover

Well first off let me say that I enjoyed myself throughly at the Big Takeover tonight. I had to leave after the comedians cause my car's garage shut down at 1:00 am. But, I got to see a lot of the big names in the area go on stage and that was cool in itself for me. To get to look at where they are and try to pinpoint things I should improve. I got to talk to Frank Hong for a minute, and that is one funny guy. He got to witness me acting out something stupid then mistakenly karate chop a guy with a mohawk coming up the stairs we were chatting on. Yet another awkward moment in my life. But the Mohawk guy was cool about it, I hadn't put the proper amount of STANK on it. Rory Scovel was hilarious and I really wanted to see the guy who's name I had seen plastered on everything comedy in this area. I was taken aback. Very good and he does make it look like he's not even trying. Loved it. Erin Jackson ripped the place apart. My girlfriend couldn't stop talking about her all the way home. And Erin, should you ever read this, "If I see you in peril and am able, I owe you, ONE LIFE SAVE, it's the least I could do." She knows. Kojo also had his way with us. Even when he wasn't on stage. Everytime I felt awkward about something, I would look over at Kojo and he'd be looking at me with a sinister smile. It was so sinister that I felt happy and went back to doing the one two step with everyone in the back. And Tyler S, I think that you put together a great show. The place was packed and standing room only, and the band was good. So good that people started leaving the room after they left, but good none the less.
Now if I may let me share with you something that was odd and I laughed about it all the way home. After my set I was in the back listening to everyone's hilarious ANTICS?!(Weird word choice) Two couples walk past me. Actually there were like two Third Wheels in the two couples. But they did have some big titties. Sorry. So they stumble out the door and I was like "I'm gonna go have a cigarette." So like 3 minutes later I go out the door. This one guy is swearing at his woman and keeps saying "Aight Bitch!" No one else in the group was saying anything so I smoked right through that Springer shit. Then they say good-bye. I start walking around the corner to go back inside and I notice the guy going into the bar across the street next. I thought to myself that he didn't really need to hit up another bar. Then I thought about it and I was like, hell yeah, I need to go bar hopping next weekend. Then I went inside.
So I'm on my way out of the club and I have to walk forever to get to the garage. That's because mapquest is shitty, and notice how I did not capitalize their name. That's what we call a victory however you can get one. JUST WIN BABY. No exclamation point.(There's a guy at my job who actually talks like that. Example: "I have to tell you that I don't agree COMA I respect what you are saying FORWARD SLASH.... and it goes on and on like that. But it makes me laugh.) On the walk to the car I see a cop at the corner and immediately I paniced. I am a black man holding a white woman's hand late at night. If she headfaked or jerked that would be enough to get me laid out. Rodney. So I then notice that he's got a guy up against the car and two women are standing behind him. In my mind I'm like "I know it can't be... and sure e-fucking-nough it was the guy who was shouting Aight Bitch and to those of you who were there, he was shouting Orgy at the top of the stairs while people were performing. Oh he was a 'bute. And it struck me so funny I could hardly contain myself. Then I walk directly in front of him and he turns to the cop and says "Your a DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!" I immediately blurt out "Your going to jail baby" but in a singing voice(I'll gladly demonstrate it for whoever wants to pull me aside and enquire.) And that's the end, I laughed all the way back to my house and he hasn't really been out of my thoughts since I drove past him when three other cop cars had shown up for back up. Jail. In a similar story on the walk to the club from the car I heard a very loud conversation between three seemingly thugish guys. They were talking about how one of them had pushed the other just to get to a girl. And he was going off too. I was thinking, bitch let it go. But wouldn't say that shit out loud at night. I turned around cause my girlfriend walks way too slow, and saw that they were two fat guys, and a geek. And that enable me to put on a confident strut in the presence of hoodlums, in my girl's mind. And that will ultimately get me laid. That or Chitterlings. She loves Chittelings. But I must go, had a great night and look forward to more comedy.