Yeah Sunday....1 day closer to Armageddon

Hey everybody! I hope that I'll see some of you at the Comedy Spot tonight if you even read SUNDAY blogs. Since I guess that makes us both geeks, let's push on. So yesterday was a great day. For those of you that don't know, even though I don't hand you my business card, I'm a car salesman. I don't know how many of you have seen Used Cars but it's nothing like that. It's a lot more like Pink Cadillac with Robin Williams and Glengary Glen Ross. I will give you a breakdown of how a Saturday in my life goes.
I woke up at 8:25, which is a problem because the morning meeting is always at 8:30. I was clearly going to be late. So what do I do? I call my boss who is more like a close friend, to tell him not to flip cause I'm not gonna make the meeting. I take my time to get ready and take as many tokes as possible. Oh you heard me.... Then it's off to work. So I get to work right after the meetings over at like 9:08 am. No one really says anything. So I have a seat and ask people how much money is out there for today. It's not really as seedy a business as people think, there are plenty of college grads out there who wanna be a greasy car salesman. I just like the money and didn't want to grow up and get a desk job, not just yet anyway....ask me tomorrow. So these two people walk in and they are a relatively MONEY looking couple. One thing that I learned in the past two years is that when a white guy has on $2 shoes that don't even resemble Nike's, that means that theres a 1:5 chance he's got money. Just a chance. So these people told me that each one of them was gonna buy something and naturally I didn't get excited. But that would mean a lot of cash for yours truly. I like cash, and mayonaise. So hours go by and I get both of them to buy something. CAUSE I'm good like that. And I'm owed a pretty nice amount of money from management. This is where the only shit of the car business comes out. TRYING TO GET PAID. The GM made a little bet with and told me that if I did a hat trick( meaning sell one more) he would give me a nice litle $300 dollars on top of everything I had earned. I like cash so I was like Fuck You!(cause I don't like him) but I didn't say that out loud so I said okay. God I need to smack him, anyway....
I take a few more couple's that night and it's getting close to close and I have a couple that seems like they will flop. This guy did something that I think people could learn from. He took forever to pick out a car and then told me he had a trade. He had inequity in his trade and though I told him that we don't go by Kelly Blue Book value he insisted that he deserved Good Value. Which makes up the game that he and I played yesterday. Finally, and before I say the end I should let you know that with Ford vehicles if you ever buy one, there might be about 3500 dollars that you have to haggle with but don't fool yourself into thinking that after the rebate that New car still has $10,000 to negotiate with. Just ask to see the invoice, if they have something to hide and won't show it you probably don't want to buy there anyway. I told he and his wife that we might be talking about $3000 that I could play with cause it was late and since I've done this a while I have an hour guarantee that I was trying to fulfill. He didn't believe me and thought that by making ridiculious offer that involved $8-9K out of my pocket, I asked for a second to talk to my managers. I went over and told the management exactly how to make a deal with this guy. I knew what he wanted and what he would settle for even though he was making those offers. They joked then someone blurted that I hadn't been in the meeting so I don't get any cash that day. That was the rule, but since it hadn't been said til then I was still gonna get my money. So you can imagine that I was upset to hear that and yet everyone was relying on me to close this deal that it would double everyone's cash for the day. We have some interesting bonuses on Saturdays. So I chuckled and walked over to my customers. I (in about 20 seconds) completely threw away the deal and the customers and then walked back to the managers. They asked where they were and I said "They are with my money!, have a good night everybody." I just love Saturdays.