New York

I love any excuse that gets my ass to N.Y. doesn't really matter what it is. Death in the family; sure. Transgender surgery; why not? Or stashing the body or a prostitute that accidentally swallowed that sock; only if it's Tuesday! Just being there makes you feel important and I wish that life were a musical whenever I walk down the street. I want everyone to burst into song and start a crisp choreographed dance routine. Nothing sloppy either, 1,2,... pop. "It must be green" okay. That's a Fifth Element reference. Gotta do you homework before you step into Tyler's Labyrinth of useless information. People have been lost so long that they began to recycle their own food. I'm talking about eating poop for you laymen. And those who like the word poop. Polyester suits should be outlawed. This guy in front of me has on a suit with a matching Elmer Fudd hat at his desk. It's never that cold outside. And I let him know it. Our greeting this morning went like this: "Hey Deaven good morning" Me: "Damn, but it won't ever be could enough for that shitty ass hat you got on!" True story. And thank you, you too can stop bad apparel in it's tracks. Next time you see a blatant fashion fau pa(forgive the spelling, I went for phonetics cause the spell check didn't know the right way and people at work us a calculator for short division), let that bitch have it. Please, for the sake of the children.