Hey, while you're out... could you pick me up a Nintendo Wii?

*The following is a sad recount of a Wii bowling match... Tyler vs. a good friend's brother-in-law. Who happens to be mentally challenged.*

Saturday night I went to my friend Josh's housewarming party. Good time, $#!tload of chili, more friends than I remembered having... and of course, Kirk. There I am having a ball and Kirk throws down the challenge, "I'm gonna kick your @ss in Smash Bros!" at this point the party was still in pretty good swing but once it got around 2 I decided to oblige. For the record I dominated that man in Smash Bros. The problem with calling me out, some know this better than others... right Fowlest? Is that I don't discriminate when dealing out verbal abuse. When you touch that controller(in this case Wiimote) and decide that you want to take on the KING, you have signed a release allowing me to "get in that @ss". The only time that I stopped talking $#!t to young Kirk (did I mention that he's 17?) was to catch my breath. Eventually the young man started to get upset. Let me just say that I love Kirk. But, then he called Nelson and I out, to a game of Wii Bowling. He said it so calmly that Nelson and I knew that we would need to bring the "A" game. If Kirk is any indicator of playing the "challenged" in video games, do not accept the offer. The first game he dominated us like we had never heard of bowling before. Nelson took his loss a little more graciously than I did. Maybe it was because he called his mother down and this led to all of the remaining guests coming to see what he was so excited about. So there I am disgraced, about 14 people standing around watching the final score, Kirk is dancing with glee, Nelson is playing with his iPod Touch, and Kirk's mother never looked prouder. Everyone knows that with every upset there is a rematch clause. I threw that shiggity down right off the bat. Now, I talked a lot of $#!t to Kirk the first time around and he calmly got up and threw strikes then turned and smirked at me. I would not make the same mistake again. I shut the f*ck up second game. It started with a strike. He strikes. Nelson threw something that was not a strike. We stay neck and neck all the way up to the end of the match. Nelson, who believed that he was meant to play sitting down since he gutter balled the one time he stood up, ate a d*ck throughout the entire thing. We referred to him as the comic relief amidst this heated battle. I have never played a video game to a crowd of people completely surrounding me before. But, people saw how serious I was about not losing to him twice, and Kirk was getting VERY angry and the thought of losing to a man who ran his mouth so much during Smash Bros. I called it "stupid magic" in the car, cause that young man was flinging his arm like he was casting a fly fishing rod... and strikes were magically happening. So, where was I?.... oh, the 9th frame. I got a strike. Nelson sucked. Kirk throws a strike too and we're within 3 points of each other. As geek-ish as it sounds, it was pretty intense down in that basement. By the way, it was a lovely new place. Here we go in the tenth frame, I developed a weird hop thing that for some reason led me to getting strikes. Hop... Strike. I look at Kirk, hop... strike. I look again, this time he yells "Shut up and go again, you better get three!" And then.... (sigh)... I strike again! Imagine how the theater will erupt when we see the Joker for the first time in The Dark Knight. That's pretty much how the room was, even his mother was high fiving the $#!t out of me. Nelson bowls, nothing exciting about that. I think he got a 7 and the a gutter ball... oh, Nelson. Kirk stands up, and what does he throw? 8, then he didn't pick up the spare. And, like that it was over. I beat him and to honest I can't remember a sweeter victory in my life. For some reason I think I'll look back for a long time and always smile when I think of the incredible victory I had over that poor mentally challenged boy. Maybe it's because I took the one thing he had from him, maybe it's because I'm just an @sshole... probably the second one. But, GOD, it was good. Want to know the kicker? He... was... ANGRY (excuse me while I laugh a little bit) but boy was he angry. I don't even think he wanted to shake my hand when Nelson and I made our way to the car. It may seem like I've embellished some of this story, but I promise you that it went down practically word for word. Victories like this, we remember and cherish every moment. I think I'm gonna end today on that note. See you guys at Spy Lounge, nice blog Mr. Cousson. Tomorrow I think I actually have a topic that has to do with comedy. Let's see if I remember it tomorrow. Much love to Kirk, bitch....jk

Laters.