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Just as good as a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

"Operation: Bad Habit" is a go

Just a line that I love from my favorite show "Frisky Dingo". Got that Season 1 DVD and have fallen asleep to it everyday of the week since Sunday.... true love never gets old does it?

Chris Barylick is man baby that offers to have people over to his place for Mario Kart for the Wii(it's not out yet, that's why that's a HUGE deal to geeks like me) and then never gets back to them when they start to foam at the mouth. I've killed so many people for you Chris, what more must I do? So many children Chris, so many...


I've had one of those weeks. Allow me to do a quick little recap since I really have been abusing my three loyal readers, and that Shiggity ain't right:

-Saturday was GREAT, did a little time at Catholic University. The line-up was great and all of these funny men are the S#!t for allowing a really long guest set from ol' TRich.... Mike "that's the muthaf*ckin" Way, Travis Irvine(I always get his last name wrong, mostly cause I keep second guessing myself and going with the wrong choice... like today. Love you man.), The Fowlest (need I say more) and Will-Mutha-F*ckin-Hessler! Phew, needless to say those kids laughed so hard they sent most of us home with MANGO. That's true by the way.

-Later that night I should have gone to see Street Kings like The Fowlest suggested, cause we were one of the first to arrive and yet again I was hanging from the scrotum of the list at the Drafthouse open mic. This stopped me from going to Wiseacres on Wednesday night. Did I diss somebody's momma without knowing it? Jermaine saw Street Kings a day or two later and says "Yo, that S#!t was crazy. FUI" Everybody knows he really talks like that, right?

-Sunday I went to Costco (yeah, I'm a member. What of it?) with Nelson and we walked around basically treating their snacks like we were at a buffet. We hit up this one Kielbasi stand 4 times and the lady's temper seemed to be running short. So, I bought some. I have eaten one every night. Thanks mean snack lady, you helped me make the best decision I've made all week. Also, I bought There Will be Blood and Frisky Dingo Season 1.... good day to make decisions for me.

-Monday I called in sick.... without incriminating myself I'll just say that I wasn't feeling up to sitting here all day. Not with this 24 hour pneumonia. Drove down to Richmond to do a charity show with Odyssey Michaels, Jon D. Miller, Eric Manacle and Travis. Tons of fun, great discount on everything(this was one of those crazy expensive restaurants where you question what water will cost), great crowd and the women were... well... great.

-On the way home, in the midst of all this happiness is when I got pulled over doing 95 in a 65. My legs were shaking while the cop spoke to me cause I told him that I was speeding cause I was almost home and really had an emergency. As they always do, he took another 15 minutes to write the ticket. I went 2 miles down the road and pulled over on the shoulder. Then I got out and pretended to tie my shoe while making a covert (and very stupid considering I just got pulled over for a serious offense) piss. Angrily, it took me about 8 minutes to get home from there.

-Tuesday was kind of a blur. I'm pretty sure that I went home and played video games.... that is all.

-Wednesday I was surprised to get to work and find out that my team of 7 were all to head downstairs and train on a new application we'll be using. Struggled to stay awake for a long time, then I made a bad decision. The Fowlest texted me something to which I responded "great". My supervisor was not please that I secretly tried to text someone while in this important meeting. She asked me to pay attention, this led to a not so nice talk this morning. It was one of those times where I felt like I was back at one of my high school jobs, due to how unprofessional I acted yesterday. Wish I had faked like I had to go to the bathroom, but after our talk this morning we laughed and got over it. No biggie.

-Today I had traffic court. This is the.... um... 4th time in three weeks that I've had to go to traffic court. Got there at 9. State Troopers are always last to get their defendants called on. These are words directly from my trooper's mouth. He was the last trooper to get called on. Saw a lot of people go to jail for their DUI's. Saw a lot of people with reckless driving(my ticket on Monday) get a small fine. This made me feel better about my ticket since Fairfax is known to be one of the most money hungry places around when you break the law. Especially speeding. I got back to work at 1:30. Court as usual.

-I feel like this guy deserves his own section. White guy gets a DUI. Comes to court. Declines an attorney. The judge makes sure that he is aware "since this is your second DUI in 5 years, you will get a mandatory 30 days in jail if found guilty". He declines literally 17 times. A Bailiff notices that he wreaks of booze. Suddenly about 15 Bailiffs show up behind me. They take him to the back. They come back and one says that "he was right under the line" but "he smells like weed too". The judge asks him to stand again and explains what he just found out. He tells the man that since he is high, it would be wrong to let him decline a lawyer. About 15 seconds of silence pass, then the judge changes his mind. He asks the man what he does, white guy says "I do taxes" HUH??!!! The judge says "You have 360 days of jail time, 330 suspended. Your driver's license will be suspended for 36 months. You are to enroll in ASAP, and will be on parole for 5 years." The white guy says "Can I have a restricted license?" Judge says "No, did you not realize what was mandatory before you told me you did not want an attorney for the 18th time". They slap on the cuffs and away he goes.... I saw several people, even a 65 year old woman, go off to jail today. But, you Mr. Randomly Drunken in Court White Man, were the icing on the cake. I wish I knew his name.


Now that we're all caught up, I'll have something to say tomorrow.


Laters....

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I blog during work to keep from sleeping. Unless people from my job are monitoring this, in which case "I love my job; I have a family". My dog Max is the man too. Other than that I think reading this blog gives a pretty good idea of what I'm about. Red Jell-o, need I say more.

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