Different Strokes

And we're back. I feel like I need to go to another open mic before this thing but then again I'm lazy so I'm probably just gonna practice a lot at home and in front of the mirror. Laziness is a crippling disease that I have been fighting my whole life. I wish that doctors could come up with a cure but everytime I go in for a diagnosis they become very judgmental and are no longer very professional. Dicks. I think one of the worst signs of getting older is waking up earlier. The older you get it's like your body wants those last precious hours in the day. "Let' s get up a 5:30 in the morning Norman" Oops, I forgot to tell you that's Norman, and that's his body talking to him. Norman's 45; how awful. My 44 year old mother has the disgusting habit of wanting to play in the garden all day. That's how she enjoys herself in her free time. And the saddest part is, that when you watch her and she's done you notice that she's been smiling the whole time. Gardening genuinely makes her happy, it's disturbing to me. And when she gets home from work she watches HGTV. I still have no idea how could have fallen so far from the tree. I like video games. And professionally wrestling, cause that's what men like. If you just disagreed and consider yourself a man, that decision has just been vetoed. I don't make the rules I just relay them the people. I have to go to the bank later and that is depressing. I'm with Navy Federal Credit Union and their business is great, but being in that mutha is the exact opposite. Everyone stands so close to you. And they do in any line, but in the bank it's so quiet that I start getting claustrophobic. I start questioning if I smell bad but I can't check cause somebody will know. So I try to etch closer to the person in front of me. Then the bastard behind me starts the game. And when I get there it's always a gay guy. The same gay guy; I hope and pray that I won't get him and know that he can see that look on my face, but we're forced together and have been for the past two months. It's like God is telling me "Here is one man you can get it on with and I won't judge you" but I'm not gay. And he's a big guy. I'm picky(right after I giggled at that joke my toenail fell off. What about you? He's a vengeful god you know). I've given it some thought and if Saw 2 wasn't instantly put in your top 100 list of movies you should never read this blog again. Joking(I hope they're still here, if they are then maybe they'll realize how weird this Inner-Inner monologue really is!?) keep reading I'm almost done. I really wanna quit smoking but I'm WEAK. Every pack is the last one, and think cold turkey might be the best way. Although I'm also really cheap so to quit in the middle of a pack doesn't seem like the most economic decision. I loved Economics in college. My teacher was clearly a bigot and didn't make any excuses for himself. He was a visionary, the first day of class I tell you what he said: "A certain type of graph(don't remember, yeah college) can never be at equilibrium because to say that would be to say if there were only two jobs in the world, that everyone could do both equally. So if the only two jobs were a roofer and an economics professor that would imply that we could both do the same job at the same efficiency. And I don't think that any of our Mexican friends would like that, do?" But he was dead serious. The whole auditorium was just looking around cause we weren't sure he really said that. But as the classes went on and many more comments about black, poor, and starving children in third world countries were made you could tell he just told it like he saw it. And if you had a problem with it he was all to happy to ask you to leave. I respected the hell out of him for it and told him so. He was a good ol' boy but like watching Peter Griffin rattle off some truly ignorant shit, he was hilarious. Bless you sir. I'll get back to writing later, ciao.