The Last 2 days have been SHIT!

So let's get down to the nitty grit. I went to D.C. very anxious and I will admit that my nerves had started to kick in a little bit. I got lost on the way to the club. I thought I might find my way there by navigating the numbers but then I remembered that there is no rhyme or reason to the streets and numbers in D.C. I called the club and some nice female directed me to the club and pretty much told me to calm down because being lost and a few minutes late wasn't that big of a deal. Because I was a tad on the Freakin Out side. So I get to the club...

I go to the green room and fill out my intro which is weird to me cause I think they sound tacky or corny most of the time. So I went with the simplest thing that I could think of. My name got mispronounced anyway but since Rob Cantrell is a headliner I'm just glad that he got my last name correct. So I stumble around and see all my friends and family that came out to support. And finally, it's time to go pick our numbers. I get in the room late-ish and so I was the second to last to pick out of the hat. May I say that I joked all week about getting first and that was my way of reassuring myself that it wouldn't happen to me. No, it was me. That kinda took away from my excitement cause now I felt I had no chance of doing well. I get really hyped up listening to the crowd laugh for a while. Then you get the satisfaction of knowing they're ready and your gonna really show'em what laughter is. But even though the headliner was doin a set before me I was crushed by being first. But make no mistakes. I am not making an excuse for losing or for my act. I actually felt like I had a good set. I'm honest with myself and I fucked up a couple of times and had a bit or two that wasn't supposed to be in that set. I'd say my performance was a 6.5 in my book. Good enough to get laughs but didn't really make the judges remember me after 7 other people had taken the stage. And for a while I was bitter at everyone but, after serious thought I give it up to the comedians that placed on Tuesday. They truly came out there and performed like they were professionals. I especially liked Coy. He was too smooth. SMOOTH. With that said I hope that I will get the opportunity to go back without competition and truly bring that place to it's knees. And I will. I did some searching after Tuesday night. Questioning if I'm funny or not. I saw how people salivated when Brandon Ivey was on stage and it makes you step back. There is more than enough work for the two of us out there, but with people like that out there, can I truly say I deserve to work with them. I don't want to just be funny. I came to offer something and try to get away from being just good enough. I am proud of the fact that I performed my set clean. That was in itself an accomplishment because I decided I don't want to limit my humor and if I am as funny as I think, then why do I need to curse. 2 year olds deserve to laugh too damnit. Damnit. But, I wondered if people saw that same star quality in me that was seen in all the great comics that you can remember. Cause I'm not afraid to say that I want the absolute best that the industry has to offer. Don't care how long it takes, or the cost. But I will not sleep with a midget. Cause I got my standards to think about. Standards damnit. Overall, I am satisfied with how I presented myself at the Improv and look very forward to being able to grace that stage again. Congrats to the winners, you guys were awesome.

Yesterday I stayed at home sick cause I didn't feel all that well. Plus, when I woke up there was snow in the air and that disqualified the day from work right off the bat. I go down the hill around 6:00 pm to get some cat food. I decided to bring my dog Fancy because she likes car rides. Awww. And if you didn't aww your not a dog person. So, I go to the store and on the way back up the hill I decide to check the mail. Takes all of 10 seconds. Left the car running. Keys in it. My door is unlocked. Til Fancy jumps on it and locks it. It's 39 degrees outside. I have a leather jacket on with no shirt. I'm skinny. Tow Truck company tells me that it will be 75-95 Fuckin Dollars. Want to kill Fancy. Call mom, she has the spare key. She lives 25 minutes away. She's busy and says it will take awhile. It took her 1.35 hours. I stood out side with nothing but cigarettes to smoke for 1.35 hours. My beer that I just bought was in the car. I thought I saw my gas needle move. Getting more pissed. Finally my mom gets there. Asks me why I waited outside as she laughs. "It's cause I'm in a fire lane and the cops come by here from time to time. I don't want a ticket. " I did not lay a finger on Fancy that night, but one day when she least expect it, I'm gonna throw shit on her face. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Cold, Fancy. Good Dog.