Somebody's readin this thing

I am very pleased to see that all my precious memories and thoughts aren't completely going to waste. The count keeps climbing so either people are stumbling across my blog in pleasant numbers or the 4 people that are reading this are foaming at the mouth to see what I've got to say next. To those four, I love you guys! I have just worked a 12 hour shift so that means I had been holding it for about 10. I did just use the past tense, ain't it cool. I don't like nor do I ever want to take a shit in a public bathroom. One ply, one ply is an employer's way of telling you that they don't much care for you. And my company went so far as to put in the automatic flusher. For those that are familiar with it that means that during that emergency dance before the sacred SHITE your going to encounter a flush or two. Which sprinkles the toilet with( and more importantly the very thin layers of toilet paper) water. POO WATER! And the bathroom condoms don't do jack. Anyone else notice that the bathroom condom is always about 6" too short to fit on the whole toilet. What part of my body do they expect me to sacrifice for that toilet. I certainly won't let the boys play B-ball on that rim, and I'm not letting one hair of my ass touch it. So I figure that I might as well go on the floor like a dog. They made me poop on the tile floor "like a dog". And not just at work either, everywhere. So next time your in the mall and notice that someone ripped the chocolate stained elastic band from their BVD's and threw it in the next stall, think Tyler. C'mon you know you laugh a little everytime that you see a poop smeared bathroom. I do. I have a weird memory of the first and last time I caught my girlfriend do the squat. I walked in while she was in the shower cause I had to makeashit(say that to yourself, it makes you smile, for exact pronunciation see Da Ali G Show) and the toilet seat is in the upright position. I look down and see that she's been raising rare giant brown slugs. They are so rare I wanted to pick one up and take a picture with it. But, I could not because as soon as she saw me eyeing up the specimen, she came at me. In a speed only used in times of fear, she slapped me then pushed me with one hand while the other closed the door on my leg. And was stark naked when she did it. I couldn't make that up people. That shit happened. And it was the last time that I saw the rare giant brown slug. Damnit. Well, I will either write back again tonight, or realistically I will talk it up with you all tomorrow. Ciao babies!