Those Little Risks in Everyday Life
[transmission from: tyler richardson]
[transmission from: tyler richardson]
"Don't take any risks today -- the outcome will not be in your favor. Play it safe."This was the horoscope for Taurus today. What is weird is that this morning I found at least three situations to which such a general forecast could be relevant.
I woke up and needed to use the bathroom. When I sit down I discovered that the toilet paper was all gone. I had two choices. Use my hand to get it all out( fist-full-o'-jerky) or I could use printer paper. All I'll say is that I've almost successfully managed to clean out my fingernails. Risk Factor: Paper cuts on the taint.
Driving to work I came to a stop light. A man in front of me was pushing his car while his wife steered. I could tell that he needed help but I'm not the type of person to just go helping strangers...for free. So, I sat there and waited for him to Hulk up and get his car out of my way. I saw three people come running from behind me and help him out. They all made it a point to give me the evil eye while I drove past them and hit the pipe one more time. Cause that's how I roll. Risk Factor: Dropping perfectly good Weed on the ground to help a stranger that doesn't have a vagina. That's fuckin crazy. He should understand, GUY CODE!
I was using the urinal at work and someone's kid was outside the door. I could tell that he was on a short schedule and the way he danced show urgency and fear. So, I did what I always do. I took my time. It only took him a couple of minutes before he started to speak and his begging only tickled me more. After 20 minutes of what I can only describe as the finest showtune collection that I could muster, I let him in. He looked like shit. Literally, he had to shake the crap out of his pants like a P.O.W. Risk Factor: There isn't really one here, but whenever a child cries, the Wolfen God I pray to smiles. And that smile provides the world with rhythm.P.S.- For more info on the Wolfen Cult simply ask yourself "Where would a cult meet at?" The answer should always be "Jo- Ann's Crafts & Fabrics".
I woke up and needed to use the bathroom. When I sit down I discovered that the toilet paper was all gone. I had two choices. Use my hand to get it all out( fist-full-o'-jerky) or I could use printer paper. All I'll say is that I've almost successfully managed to clean out my fingernails. Risk Factor: Paper cuts on the taint.
Driving to work I came to a stop light. A man in front of me was pushing his car while his wife steered. I could tell that he needed help but I'm not the type of person to just go helping strangers...for free. So, I sat there and waited for him to Hulk up and get his car out of my way. I saw three people come running from behind me and help him out. They all made it a point to give me the evil eye while I drove past them and hit the pipe one more time. Cause that's how I roll. Risk Factor: Dropping perfectly good Weed on the ground to help a stranger that doesn't have a vagina. That's fuckin crazy. He should understand, GUY CODE!
I was using the urinal at work and someone's kid was outside the door. I could tell that he was on a short schedule and the way he danced show urgency and fear. So, I did what I always do. I took my time. It only took him a couple of minutes before he started to speak and his begging only tickled me more. After 20 minutes of what I can only describe as the finest showtune collection that I could muster, I let him in. He looked like shit. Literally, he had to shake the crap out of his pants like a P.O.W. Risk Factor: There isn't really one here, but whenever a child cries, the Wolfen God I pray to smiles. And that smile provides the world with rhythm.P.S.- For more info on the Wolfen Cult simply ask yourself "Where would a cult meet at?" The answer should always be "Jo- Ann's Crafts & Fabrics".
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