I'm not ready to be a father.... I'm still too sexy

Well.... let's get straight to the "Meat and Potatoes" of a pretty cool weekend, shall we?

The weekend at the Comedy Factory was great, Erin Jackson stopped by both nights and the I think we all know that I'm d*ck riding EJ like most people do Tim Miller (I have to laugh at that one). The shows were so much fun I was really depressed on Saturday, right around the second show, cause then you return to the real world. For anyone that gets told they will be working with Vince Morris, jump for joy, he was as cool a headliner as you could ask for. He even asked me to do a joke before his last set, which we all know is unheard of, but if the headliner asks "Who's gonna say no to that?" And though he had lost some of his faith in hip-hop, he has now listened to Lupe Fiasco... Amen. I also enjoyed what I can only call a "Strong Island Iced Tea". Jared was not only the token Jew, but had some great sets. My favorite Jared Stern moment was the end his time in the second Saturday. As soon as he shook my hand and came down on the step.... he crumbled like the Berlin Wall. I didn't even have time to ask if he was alright before I broke into laughter. What made it better was that it was in front of all those people and even though he didn't fall all the way to the ground it was good enough to crack me up like a fat kid getting tickled. Good times, and allow me to yet again show what not to do when you're working. The first show on Saturday night I got a little picture happy, way too early. I had seen people taking pictures the other two nights and honestly didn't know better since no one said anything. So, in the middle of Vince's set, I snap one and the flash goes off. Jared, sitting right next to me says "What are you doing?" I immediately knew that I shouldn't do that. Vince stopped his set and said "Who just took that picture?" I continue telling Jared that there's no way I'm gonna stop talking to him and eventually we'll just wait this thing out. People start chiming "It came from over there", Vince says "Tyler, did you take that picture? What are you doing? If you want a picture come up here and take one, don't just take one of me.... that's gay" I breathed a sigh of release while we struck different poses for the camera, but if it were an @sshole I could have been in for a good talking to. On a related note, we struck several funny poses on that stage and the lady with the camera was shaking them off... b*tch take the pictures. I was looking at the pics I took and thinking, "Man, I wish that lady would've just taken the pictures". Oh well, the weekend kicked more @ss than Chuck Norris....
(Man appears behind Tyler while typing.... HOLY $#!T it's CHUCK NORRIS)
Sorry Chuck.
"It's cool Tyler"- Chuck Norris
(Then Chuck Norris snap kicked Tyler in the face. He exits like he came into the building on a rainbow)

Yesterday exchanged numbers in a grocery store. The only thing I could say was "I'm the sexiest bastard on the planet today, but I know tomorrow's coming. $#!T". Hello Monday.... :(

I miss the trash talk days of DCComedy4Now, cause without people commenting like crazy, it's just sad. Oh well, we still have EJ, Aparna, Ryan, Justin, Jimmy and TRich blogs to thumb through everyday.

Back to Richmond next Monday, woo-hoo!!!!! I've missed it down there, I wonder if it's got a beard now.... oh yeah, and Erin Jackson will be there too. I'm most diabolical stalker of all time. If you read her blog you know she's not too fond of hugging all the time all "willy nilly". But, the opportunity arose on Friday night and I leaped and got all the hug she could handle. I laughed about it later that night while watching Live at Gotham. I hugged someone on television, ENVY ME. Oh, and I saw we drive the same car... Corolla b*tch.

The show that my friend Josh and I are going to pitch to the director of programming at Adult Swim, called BASIC, is actually leading me to hope. I'm shocked that for once two men that procrastinate all the time, got off their bottoms' and did some work. Praise be to the wolf.

Yesterday my dog and I had a long conversation about July 4th, he doesn't see the big deal and thinks people should still work. You can't teach an old dog gratitude. He's so cute when we disagree, he keeps slamming his fist on the table and interrupting until he feels he's gotten his point across.

I finally got around to putting Tha Carter II on my iPod, bliss. Feel Me!!!!

After this weekend I'm really looking forward to the weekend at the Arlington Cinema N' Drafthouse, pubes are permed and everything.... they say I'm sexy now.

Spy Lounge tonight!!!! .... b*tch. 8 o' cleazy.

I will leave everyone with a little Diddy:

It's Bad Boy bitch
Do it do it do it do it
Do it do it do it do it
(It feels good to be back, I missed ya)
Relax your mind, let your conscience be free
And I roll with the sounds of BBE
Do it do it do it do it
Do it do it do it do it
(You know what time it is)(Report to the dance floor)
It's bad boy bitch(Talk to 'em)

????? How does this man sell records??????

Laters