Let me start by saying that last night I went home and decided to rent two movies. The first was Jumper, it received terrible reviews so I did not expect much. The second was Strange Wilderness, Nelson and I were surprised to see this one on the screen at Blockbuster and even more shocked when the commercial ended with "Available Now in stores". We hunted down both movies, got our snackies and enjoyed some doobie snacks. Then it was "Movie Time" (around 1999, I bought my grandfather a remote that operated by voice. The only way that he could turn the TV, VCR and press play at the same time was to say "Movie Time". The contraption was terrible but expensive. He sat there just shouting "Movie Time" into the remote and it worked about 3 times out of 100. Good times) :
Jumper- I was incredibly surprised by how good this movie was. Don't worry about the plot, it'll do you no good to focus too hard on it. It did have a plot though but more importantly... seemingly non-stop "jumping"! I really can't say enough about it, they gave me what I thought it would be by looking at the previews. As long as it's what you expected how can you be disappointed.
Strange Wilderness- I cannot remember the last time I saw a movie that was worse than Strange Wilderness. I'm not exaggerating, it was by far "The Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen". If I saw you in Blockbuster and you were holding the box, contemplating whether it's worth your time or not, I would spend however much time it took convincing you to give it to me and let go lof that thought. I cannot believe that so many actors with great things in their credits would sign on for this movie after smelling the script, let alone reading it. I was so ashamed for them. I laughed 3 times throughout the entire movie, literally. To give an example of BJ of a movie it was, the characters meet a man named Dick and for a couple minutes said things like "Does your name get hard in the morning". I love Nelson to death but after several of those he actually laughed and all I could do was look at him with the biggest frown I've ever worn. P.S.- Steve Zahn is the star.... nuff said.
Ugg!!! That movie was some $#!t.... okay, I'm over it now.
I'm sure by now we've all heard about the Boy Scouts who were out in the forest with a Tornado. The only thing that went through my mind was, "Did the Scout leader's check the weather channel before they left? Cause Tornadoes don't have the tendency to sneak up on meteorologists"... Am I the only one?
Chris White's observations of the DC Comedy Fest 08 acts were pretty on point. We have a festival with our name on it, but no one from the area is is the festival. WTF?! I should have taken the Fowlest advice and j*rked off instead of submitting, I'd still have $25 bucks.
As I speak I'm inhaling a GIGANTIC brick of Rice Kripsy Treat. It goes down smooth and sweet, like a Twinkie, like a Twinkie.
The DMV should hand out Snickers when you come in. Not because you'll be waiting forever, but since they don't care about customer service, the least they could do is give me candy before they f*ck me.
Cubicles were not designed for personal conversations. All morning I've been listening to a friend go through a hard time with her fiancee and then act great as soon as the phone hangs up. I can't help but listen though cause she's right next to me. And I'm curious, sue me.... awkward.
As a father, if someone who looked like Lil' Wayne ever came to my door to pick up my daughter for a date I would stand there confused and continue to ask him for the address he was looking for. Eventually, he would figure out that he was at the correct address but there was no way that date was going down. Of course, he would pick my daughter up for a date cause rappers don't date, they skeet on 'em. Please God, don't make me the father of a baby girl.
Coldplay's album should be available today, "Are you still reading this dribble of a blog?! I just said Viva la Vida is available today!!!! Get out there and buy/download that, it's hot fire!"
Gotta go get mine, Laters
5 comments:
The DC Comedy Fest should be called "The Comedy Fest That Happens To Take Place In DC".
Now see, that seems like a very appropriate name to me. Thank you Jimmy, don't see Strange Wilderness.
I actually laughed at the "does your name get hard in the morning?" line for its sheer lameness.
Remember, dreamer screenwriters of America - Hollywood doesn't want art - it wants what can be cranked out quickly and cheaply and fed to the masses with a quick DVD turnover.
I watched Employee of the Month yesterday - can you compare that on the Strange Wilderness scale?
I'm sorry to hear that you didn't get into the fest Tyler.
They could have made room on the "Alternative Alt Comics Alternating Alternative Opinions of Alternative Alternate Acts Acting Alternatively Show (featuring NYC's best)".
If Employee of the month were a 6.5, Strange Wilderness is a .5
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