That's right, I'm still not tired of it.Allow me to run down a little story for you. I like to call it "45 minutes ago I had to go to the bathroom but was stuck in a committee meeting". I think the title sums it up pretty well. First, let me say that if you are a fan of spicy chicken, KFC is still carrying the HOT WINGS that I love. The cashier when I bought my bucket says that they're here to stay. I want to believe him, but.... God doesn't do things like that. Not to me. So, I ate a bunch of Wings and Mashed Potatoes (w/ GRAVY B*TCH) last night when I finally got home. By the way, apparently Cinco de Mayo is the killer of comedy. Now I'll actually remember that holiday for something cause before it was about as significant as Flag Day. (any comic that missed Chief Ike's f*cked up. Hot models, free Margaritas, comedy....bliss) Anyway, all the drinking, all the food and about 15 hours later what do you got? A serious $#!t. I went to the lavatory a bit earlier since I knew there was a meeting at 10. Apparently, the day had other plans. During the meeting, which consisted of 3 people and myself, my body gurgled non-stop. I began to glisten, the type of cold sweat that actually made me panic. "Am I gonna make it? Or am I gonna have to sprint out of the conference room and hunt down a $#!tter?" The look on my face told the story I'm sure. So, I sat there looking like a guy doing a Christopher Walken impersonation. Worst part is, when the meeting was finally over (about 45 minutes in) I swallowed it. I still haven't gone yet and that was about an hour ago. Woe is me.
Praise the wolf
Here is an interraction between Nick Turner (happy B-day) and I last night:
Tyler: Hey what's up? (gives dap)
Nick: Hey man (daps back, respect), I just touched my d*ck.
T:Well, I guess I should go wash my hands then.
That's when I went to the bathroom. Story over.
And now for some news:
(tell me he doesn't look like "The white Grinch who stole Christmas".... lie to me)
Scared prostitutes 'shunned Josef Fritzl' at brothel
A barman at a brothel frequented by Josef Fritzl, the Austrian man who imprisoned his own daughter in a dungeon under his house, has told how some of the prostitutes were so frightened by his perversions that they refused to accept him as a client.
He listed various extreme demands made by the retired electrical engineer, who liked to inflict pain on the women and asked them to act like corpses.
Christoph F, 38, worked at the Villa Ostende in Linz for six years and said that Mr Fritzl, a regular customer, was notorious for being "domineering" towards the staff. "Ninety-five per cent of the guests are entirely normal, 3 per cent are slightly ‘derailed’, but Fritzl belonged to the last 2 per cent of extreme perverts, who are surely mentally deranged," Mr F told the Oesterreich newspaper.
He said that some of the prostitutes would refuse to go upstairs with him – "which was extremely rare in this business" – because of demands including sadism and "demanding that a girl should pretend to be a corpse".
Prostitution is legal in Austria, and the Villa Ostende charges its customers €150 an hour. Most of the prostitutes come from Eastern Europe and change every few weeks.
The barman said that Mr Fritzl, who kept his daughter Elisabeth captive in the cellar of the family home for 24 years and fathered seven children by her, was a longstanding customer renowned for his meanness.
"I was working there for six years and Fritzl would come regularly. I will never forget his stinginess," he said. "If he would consume drinks for €97 and would pay with a €100 bill – he would demand the €3 back.
"At the bar he was domineering. If he liked a girl he would order champagne for her, but after a short while he would start behaving like a headmaster with pupils and say things like ‘Sit straight!’ or ‘Don’t speak nonsense!’. Such behaviour is unusual in sex clubs."
In the aftermath of the Fritzl case, the Austrian Parliament is to discuss the introduction of more severe punishments for sex offenders.
The Nationalrat will discuss the case tomorrow, when MPs will debate a motion on whether to change the law to introduce tougher penalties for rapists, as well as to allow criminal records to be kept for a longer period of time.
Despite the fact that Mr Fritzl had a previous conviction for rape he was allowed to adopt, or become the foster parent, of three of the children claiming he was their grandfather. This is because Austrian law sees files on convictions for sex offences removed from the records after ten to 15 years.
Mr Fritzl served 18 months in prison for raping a 24-year-old nurse in Linz in 1967, when he was 32, after he threatened to kill her and put a knife on her throat. The judge at the time allegedly pronounced what was considered a lenient sentence because Mr Fritzl had four children.
The proposals from politicians from across the political spectrum to be discussed tomorrow range from introducing chemical or physical castration as punishment for serial sex offenders – an idea coming from the far Right – to stepping up efforts to prevent sex crimes and providing psychological counselling for sex offenders.
A proposal of the far-Right party, Alliance for the Future of Austria, to introduce regular check-ups for children to determine whether they were sexually abused has been rejected as an "absurdity" by other parties.
He listed various extreme demands made by the retired electrical engineer, who liked to inflict pain on the women and asked them to act like corpses.
Christoph F, 38, worked at the Villa Ostende in Linz for six years and said that Mr Fritzl, a regular customer, was notorious for being "domineering" towards the staff. "Ninety-five per cent of the guests are entirely normal, 3 per cent are slightly ‘derailed’, but Fritzl belonged to the last 2 per cent of extreme perverts, who are surely mentally deranged," Mr F told the Oesterreich newspaper.
He said that some of the prostitutes would refuse to go upstairs with him – "which was extremely rare in this business" – because of demands including sadism and "demanding that a girl should pretend to be a corpse".
Prostitution is legal in Austria, and the Villa Ostende charges its customers €150 an hour. Most of the prostitutes come from Eastern Europe and change every few weeks.
The barman said that Mr Fritzl, who kept his daughter Elisabeth captive in the cellar of the family home for 24 years and fathered seven children by her, was a longstanding customer renowned for his meanness.
"I was working there for six years and Fritzl would come regularly. I will never forget his stinginess," he said. "If he would consume drinks for €97 and would pay with a €100 bill – he would demand the €3 back.
"At the bar he was domineering. If he liked a girl he would order champagne for her, but after a short while he would start behaving like a headmaster with pupils and say things like ‘Sit straight!’ or ‘Don’t speak nonsense!’. Such behaviour is unusual in sex clubs."
In the aftermath of the Fritzl case, the Austrian Parliament is to discuss the introduction of more severe punishments for sex offenders.
The Nationalrat will discuss the case tomorrow, when MPs will debate a motion on whether to change the law to introduce tougher penalties for rapists, as well as to allow criminal records to be kept for a longer period of time.
Despite the fact that Mr Fritzl had a previous conviction for rape he was allowed to adopt, or become the foster parent, of three of the children claiming he was their grandfather. This is because Austrian law sees files on convictions for sex offences removed from the records after ten to 15 years.
Mr Fritzl served 18 months in prison for raping a 24-year-old nurse in Linz in 1967, when he was 32, after he threatened to kill her and put a knife on her throat. The judge at the time allegedly pronounced what was considered a lenient sentence because Mr Fritzl had four children.
The proposals from politicians from across the political spectrum to be discussed tomorrow range from introducing chemical or physical castration as punishment for serial sex offenders – an idea coming from the far Right – to stepping up efforts to prevent sex crimes and providing psychological counselling for sex offenders.
A proposal of the far-Right party, Alliance for the Future of Austria, to introduce regular check-ups for children to determine whether they were sexually abused has been rejected as an "absurdity" by other parties.
1 comment:
Tomorrow, we play GTA4... and watch Liberty City burn...
-Justin
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