Hampton won the DC Improv Finals

I always hate how you have to search around to find out the results of the showcase. Congrateys Hampton.

That's the real Wendy (Melissa Lou Thomas) behind this man in a wig. Did anyone else know that they stopped the "young men in red wigs" ad campaign due to weak sales. Shame, it's was so random I couldn't help but love it. "I deserve a burger that sizzles!"

Random moments that brought a smile to my face:

- On a double date in high school, Nelson throw a strike while bowling. He had played horribly but was so excited that he jumped way up in the air and did a DX crotch chop. There was no sex for Nelson that night. Come to think of it, I think I was still a virgin the next day. So... maybe I should have crotch chopped.

- Jermaine noticed that I have a deer's head mounted on my wall in my apartment. My Grandpa killed it and gave it to me a long time ago, he stays now. But, he was appalled at how we decorate the dead animal at certain times of the year. I think his words were (this is around the 4th of July) "So he died for no reason, and now you disgrace him by putting shades and a bandanna on him?!"

- I stayed at John McBride's friend's house in Richmond, she was great and a great host. I accidentally left my hat, my favorite Kangol, over there. I never saw it again and haven't been able to buy it. I still have a white version, but that black $#!t is hot fire. I didn't really smile too much about that one.... I'm not hatin', I'm just sayin'.

- I still find it funny that at Sampson's show a little over a year ago, I think, the comics found boxes of wine and imported beer and straight jacked that $#!t. We apologized and meant it, but for one night we were bootleggers.

- When I replay getting heckled at Rascals in front of my mother in my mind I can laugh now. There was a time when the only thing that went through my mind was "what piece of $#!t comic brought those hecklers??!!! and is he dead yet?" I still hope he's dead, a little (c'mon now, my momma was there), but I chuckle.

- At my friend Jessie Thomas' place down in Richmond, there was a great Christmas party with lots of fine women. Jessie was drunk and didn't feel like making a big chase out of the evening. He picked the sluttiest looking ex-stripper, that's true, and approached... "I really think you should just f*ck me"... she told him she was celibate. Yeah.

- I remember Rory coming up to me at Topaz and telling me how much he smoked. Then he told me that he went bike riding with Andy Haynes. I pictured two really toasted guys riding a bike and laughing and asked him "Rode a bike like a stroll through the park, or Lance Armstrong?" with a huge grin he replied "Lance f*cking Armstrong man!" While the image was different now, I still found that funny. Then he told me he was an alien and I couldn't tell anyone or I'd ruin it. Over the course of the next 4 minutes of conversation, everyone that approached got told that secret and told to keep quiet. I miss Rory.

- McBride walked in on my droppin' the duece at what used to be the Laughing Lizard... I was horrible embarrassed when I walked out and everyone laughed at me. I would've told everyone what just happened if the shoe was on the other foot though, so: McBride-1 Richardson-0

- Driving through DC with my d*ck in an empty Colgate mouthwash bottle cause I didn't think I'd find a place to pee. And, I certainly wasn't about to get out of the car anywhere near Southeast. But, I found a church to pee in and made it to the show with about 5 minutes to prepare to perform.

- Watching comics bark at on lookers and giving jazz hands or spirit fingers.... it always makes me laugh.

- Last week at iNova hospital, Eric Molberg was performing for a 13 year old that just had gastro bypass. I'm not gonna make any jokes about her, it was pretty sad, but we were told not to mention food or fat people. He didn't, but at some point he said "Like I just ate a horse". Everyone in the room pause and I'm sure that girl felt eyes on her, I haven't felt that awkward in some time. That tickles me.

- When taping for Comcast's Open Mic in Richmond, the camera yelled at me for answering the questions in the wrong format. He made me repeat along with him then I did it right. After I did it right he screamed "NOW DO IT WITHOUT ME YELLING IT FIRST!" I wasn't even angry, I just pretty embarassed.

- Jermaine threw up after having one Miller Lite and some Wendy's. Oh, that's golden.

Well tonight is the Arlington cinema N' Drafthouse competition, week 3 of round 1. Aparna and possibly Will Hessler will be performing so I'm strapping grenades to my chest for some type of leverage with the judges. We'll see how this goes, then I'm out of town for a tick so there might be no Hersday or Friday blogs. Cause no one in my family that lives in Michigan has cable... sigh, that means to expect Internet would be crazy too. Sigh, I wish it were Sunday afternoon.

Laters