What do you do what do you do what do you do whaT
That is what I imagine insanity is like. Forever reading a book that doesn’t make sense, but is so addictive…
I’m almost ashamed that I like Soulja Boy’s song “Donk” as much as I do… but some people like Mind of Mencia. One man’s trash, another man’s treasure.
Yesterday I saw a woman crossing the street that was so fine all I stopped my conversation and got out of the car. I was parked at a red light and walked over to her to introduce myself. “Miss, you are gorgeous. My name’s Deaven (yeah) and I’d love to know yours…” I got back in the car with number in hand and drove off, the people behind me were pretty pissed cause I basically made them miss a light.
That story didn’t happen… yeah, “I LIED!” In real life, I saw her and began to talk the strategy out with my friend Josh on the phone. He said go for it, and I was pretty close to it. Then I thought about getting rejected and walking back to the car defeated. And people would be pretty pissed cause I basically made them miss a light.
Am I the only one that looks to the ground when passing an obviously gay stranger. Not that I have a problem with gay men, but for some reason I react like they could turn me with eye contact. I feel stupid but I’ve been doing it so long now it’s basically a habit. Like a Ku Klux Klan member that looks away from blacks, Jews and true religion (tee hee) afraid that it will turn him.
The image of a white guy making eye contact with a black guy and turning black is so evil I love it. Is anyone imagining him taking it “okay”? Or does he freak out in all of our daydreams? Yeah he does.
If no one saw that video from yesterday (it’s below A-holes) you are missing out of one of the best laughs I have had in some time. Go to the one where the kid tries to make a break. I’m pretty sure it’s fake, but God I don’t want it to be… when you’re done with that watch my friend Ashton rape his dorm room last semester. It’s difficult to watch if you know him, but I imagine it could even make a stranger cringe. Here’s a funny story about Ashton, take your minds back about a year. It’s a party for some kid and a bunch of people are standing around. MUCH older adults are mingling everywhere with a sprinkle of younger adults mixed in. Boredom sets in and Ashton is fed up. He says “ Let’s get this party started people!” and finds a CD. It’s Justin Timberlake (don’t hate), and he puts it on Rock Your Body. When the song hit, it was about as awkward as watching him hump the dorm room. An older white man got through about half of the chorus, did I mention that Ashton sang along while he gyrated? When he heard another “I want to rock your body to the break of day” that’s when he goes to the music and pressed stop. “Let’s not”, that’s Ashton. By the way, no he did not know the older white man.
After seeing the Republican National Convention last night I am 100% positive that John McCain is a robot. I’m not sure if he’s been put here to harm us, but when he puts his arms up (they only go about half way, and it ain’t the suit’s fault) I keep expecting a full blown attack. When he reveals himself to be a machine sent here to gain out trust and expose our greatest weaknesses, I will cry. I’ll weep for all of you, my family, friends, women I never got to bang, children, but most importantly for me. Cause I made a deal with the robots just to stay alive and be a human slave. I know it’s crazy but I need to live, and I will send everyone straight to the grave to keep doing so… don’t pretend like you’re better than me.
I never get tired of the line in Anchorman where Champ says “I literally $#!T a squirrel…” that is pure genius to me.
Why do so many Dallas Cowboy “fans” live in this area. If I go to Dallas, will I be surrounded by Redskins fans that just like to stay there and talk $#!T. I’m not even a Redskins fan, but I believe that Cowboy fans that show up to FedEx field should be mobbed. Move, or shut the F up! It’s ridiculous, there are more of them here then there are Redskins fans. Okay, I’m spent.
I don’t have feelings, just a book that Chuck Norris wrote about what to do to people in certain situations. Example: “Tyler, I don’t find you funny. Your blog sucks too.” Chuck Norris’ book states to urinate at his private parts and kick his knee in. Bless you Chuck, bless you.
Laters everyone, have a great, safe weekend. Who isn’t looking forward to O’ Shaunessy’s?!
That is what I imagine insanity is like. Forever reading a book that doesn’t make sense, but is so addictive…
I’m almost ashamed that I like Soulja Boy’s song “Donk” as much as I do… but some people like Mind of Mencia. One man’s trash, another man’s treasure.
Yesterday I saw a woman crossing the street that was so fine all I stopped my conversation and got out of the car. I was parked at a red light and walked over to her to introduce myself. “Miss, you are gorgeous. My name’s Deaven (yeah) and I’d love to know yours…” I got back in the car with number in hand and drove off, the people behind me were pretty pissed cause I basically made them miss a light.
That story didn’t happen… yeah, “I LIED!” In real life, I saw her and began to talk the strategy out with my friend Josh on the phone. He said go for it, and I was pretty close to it. Then I thought about getting rejected and walking back to the car defeated. And people would be pretty pissed cause I basically made them miss a light.
Am I the only one that looks to the ground when passing an obviously gay stranger. Not that I have a problem with gay men, but for some reason I react like they could turn me with eye contact. I feel stupid but I’ve been doing it so long now it’s basically a habit. Like a Ku Klux Klan member that looks away from blacks, Jews and true religion (tee hee) afraid that it will turn him.
The image of a white guy making eye contact with a black guy and turning black is so evil I love it. Is anyone imagining him taking it “okay”? Or does he freak out in all of our daydreams? Yeah he does.
If no one saw that video from yesterday (it’s below A-holes) you are missing out of one of the best laughs I have had in some time. Go to the one where the kid tries to make a break. I’m pretty sure it’s fake, but God I don’t want it to be… when you’re done with that watch my friend Ashton rape his dorm room last semester. It’s difficult to watch if you know him, but I imagine it could even make a stranger cringe. Here’s a funny story about Ashton, take your minds back about a year. It’s a party for some kid and a bunch of people are standing around. MUCH older adults are mingling everywhere with a sprinkle of younger adults mixed in. Boredom sets in and Ashton is fed up. He says “ Let’s get this party started people!” and finds a CD. It’s Justin Timberlake (don’t hate), and he puts it on Rock Your Body. When the song hit, it was about as awkward as watching him hump the dorm room. An older white man got through about half of the chorus, did I mention that Ashton sang along while he gyrated? When he heard another “I want to rock your body to the break of day” that’s when he goes to the music and pressed stop. “Let’s not”, that’s Ashton. By the way, no he did not know the older white man.
After seeing the Republican National Convention last night I am 100% positive that John McCain is a robot. I’m not sure if he’s been put here to harm us, but when he puts his arms up (they only go about half way, and it ain’t the suit’s fault) I keep expecting a full blown attack. When he reveals himself to be a machine sent here to gain out trust and expose our greatest weaknesses, I will cry. I’ll weep for all of you, my family, friends, women I never got to bang, children, but most importantly for me. Cause I made a deal with the robots just to stay alive and be a human slave. I know it’s crazy but I need to live, and I will send everyone straight to the grave to keep doing so… don’t pretend like you’re better than me.
I never get tired of the line in Anchorman where Champ says “I literally $#!T a squirrel…” that is pure genius to me.
Why do so many Dallas Cowboy “fans” live in this area. If I go to Dallas, will I be surrounded by Redskins fans that just like to stay there and talk $#!T. I’m not even a Redskins fan, but I believe that Cowboy fans that show up to FedEx field should be mobbed. Move, or shut the F up! It’s ridiculous, there are more of them here then there are Redskins fans. Okay, I’m spent.
I don’t have feelings, just a book that Chuck Norris wrote about what to do to people in certain situations. Example: “Tyler, I don’t find you funny. Your blog sucks too.” Chuck Norris’ book states to urinate at his private parts and kick his knee in. Bless you Chuck, bless you.
Laters everyone, have a great, safe weekend. Who isn’t looking forward to O’ Shaunessy’s?!
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