Warning levels have risen from Bananamaniacal Yellow to Goat-Scrote Blue

Sorry, other than being crazy busy (actually working while at work), I saw that two people read on Monday and felt like I could slide for a day or so. But praise be to the wolf, I’ve got more than enough deranged stories for that @ss.

What happened to Ludacris? Maybe I just grew up…

Monday night I heard several (SEVERAL) gun shots right before we went to sleep. I was actually standing by the window and when I heard the shots, turned the light off to continue getting ready for bed. I didn’t peek to see if someone was shot, I certainly didn’t phone the police to tell anything, instead I got a lot of sleep. When Kevin and I were getting ready to head out the door yesterday he asked if I heard them too. We laughed that all we did was close our eyes and pray it didn’t happen anymore. He didn’t peek either, but since his brother was a cop he decided to see if anything became of it. I honestly don’t know why it was so funny to me that someone could’ve been lying there praying the police would arrive while I try to block it out. Later, when we got home after work, we discovered that Nelson heard them too. How desensitized our generation has become. But, on the plus side, Kevin’s brother said quite a few calls came in for shots fired in our neighborhood… at least someone is a snitch.

Why do I have songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show stuck in my head?! I seriously doubt that it’s because I have the soundtrack on my iPod on repeat… or is it? Damn you Tim Curry, why do your words put me in a trance?

A woman just snuck up on me, it’s pretty easy with my expensive earbuds (I literally can’t hear anything), and I spun around like she just tickled me through time. I was in state of shock until she was done asking her question, though she avoided saying anything or laughing about it. What were her final words? “Sorry to startle you… (laughter)” I feel so emasculated.

I had a lot of McDonald’s yesterday, I know what that does to “the guts”… and now we play the waiting game.

Today I’m going to put something in the mail. I have to be honest, it feels weird, since everything since 2001 I’ve either e-mailed or e-paid. What the H3LL is a stamp?

It’s good that you don’t know what I’m putting in the mail, just in case you were wondering. That way when the police ask you “Do you have any idea what Tyler mailed” you can say “no” without it being a lie. For people that are eager I’ll give you a spoiler: a smorteen queer old’s dubic chair. Peace that together and tell me you didn’t smile. It’s not illegal to mail that, and my Grandma’s about to find that out first hand. Love…

Speaking of my Grandma, we had quite the interesting chat yesterday. Don’t know what made me call her but I did and here was how it started:
TRich: Hello Grandmamala! How goes it, you ol’ saucy thang?
Grandma: Hello Deaven (yep, she calls me that name), oh, I’m good. My arms broken so I’m just sitting here…
T: How did that happen?! Where was I?! Why didn’t anyone call me?!
G: Oh, I was walking my dog Hannah and she stopped in front of me. I wasn’t looking and tripped over her and hit my face on the ground, and broke my arms. I chipped my tooth and it went through my lip, it was through my shirt when I got up… which took a while. I eventually got up and saw the blood so I went home and cleaned myself up before I went to the emergency room. Your Mom didn’t even know until yesterday, I don’t need help, I’m alright.
T: (laughter)…

That’s all we’ll go into, but that visual cracked me up. Someone drove by my Grannykins and saw her flop over a dog and smack face first, then you just laid there for a while. That would be hilarious to see while driving. As long as I wasn’t watching my own Granny go SPLAT like that. But luckily she’s good, I guess, so no need to worry. She’s a tough ol’ broad. I told her I would put that on her tombstone, she said she’d prefer “Thug Life”. Not really though.

Spy Lounge on Monday is not an open mic, just in case someone who attends is reading this and not skimming. It’s a special fundraiser for MS, let’s do the list (in not particular order):
Erin Jackson
Jon Mumma
Seaton Smith
Bryson Turner
Sonny Fuller
Hampton Yount
Aparna Nancherla
Jesus Christ… in spirit
And hey, there may even be time for Eli and I. No promises though

I saw Robocop 2 yesterday, I have to say that it stood the test of time. I could even look past the outdated special effects. Something it to be said for a movie that not only made a child one of the villains, but showed him getting gunned down and dying in a truck. This was the EARLY 90’s… can’t wait for the remake. Are we all aware of the MANY remakes that are headed our way?
Nightmare on Elm Street
Friday the 13th
Child’s Play
Poltergeist
Hellraiser
Rosemary’s Baby
the real question is when are they gonna remake THE PUPPET MASTER?!

Am I spent? Yeah, I’m gonna read some stuff (blogs). Did we all know that apparently Not Hatin Just Sayin is back to regular blogging, we’ll see how long that lasts. But the videos of their welcome back speech make me laugh. I love Bryson’s line at the end “… Shame on you, Thank you.” Good times.


Be good everyone, if you come back later in the afternoon (like 5:30 or 6) I have two hilarious videos to post from YouTube. One is from a friend, I promise you don’t want to miss it. The other is from To Catch A Predator… sh’mon.

Laters