Don't sneeze, that's how AIDS gets spread

Friday never smelled like yellow cake before. Which is good cause I love yellow cake!!!

Went to the Arlington Draft house and saw some familiar faces known for comedic tales… and armed robbery. So let’s see who were they? Will (I haven’t wiped after a $#!T for a week cause it’s good luck) Hessler, Atif (I wear cologne that makes men question going for the kiss when we give hug n’ pound) Myers, Rob (I’m just a pimp, cause I brought all the women) Maher and Andy (Andy’s just plain cool) Kline. Room was full of suits that came just wanting to drink around their hot co-workers and they got so much more. Stories ripped straight from a porno star’s worst semen soaked nightmares, and the occasional laugh.

The SNL half hour skit mocking the debate last night sucked. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe only the first 8 minutes sucked and then it became as hilarious as the skits of Farley, Hartman, Ferrell, Sandler, Lovitz, Meadows, Murphy, Martin, Aykroyd, O’ Teri, Shannon, Belushi and Chevy Chase (Make notice that none of them are currently in the line-up). When will someone stand up to Tina Fey and proclaim that as soon as she became the head writer, the show turned into buttered $#!T. I praise the other writers on 30 Rock because they must be so funny that their drowning out her stank. While she is bone-a-rrific, I have the sneaking suspicion that whenever he significant other laughs at her jokes, he dreams of the next time they bump uglies. Does it strike anyone else as sad that the only person they could find to do Obama is a white man? And I thought Darrell Hammond was done with SNL, why do the McCain impression?! You wanna have to come back if his deal with Satan sticks and he becomes the next president? 4 more years of that craptacular writing? That’s a step back Darrell, think of the children…

I seem doomed to love a woman I can’t speak to and to have the love of women I don’t want to speak to. Time for some Chuck Mangione, “How do you do it Chuck, how do you do it?”

I feel like blaring some Michael McDonald at my desk but that would be so distracting to everyone else. Not necessarily the singing but the laughter. Something about his voice, I just laugh uncontrollably whenever I hear him sing. Even if they put his CD in at my mother’s funeral…

I straight raped that sandwich!- Atif Myers

That game was straight sex!- TRich Boogey (2002)

Similar, could it be through mind link Atif has tapped into some of my inner nasty? We’ll find out if he starts coming to the stage with just the tip out of the fly. Cause I think that would be hilarious. Not laugh out loud hilarious, but “Ugh…” hilarious. They say the best things in life are free.

Gotta love pay-days, the wolf picks a child to execute the multiplication table up to 50x50. If the child does not answer correctly then he is folded in half until you hear pop, but when he is correct everyone is given a coarsen for many moons. The night time is the right time…

So many things can happen in 8 minutes but I keep telling myself to leave cartwheels out of my routine tonight. Damn this urge to be a showman.

The new show Testees was pretty, pretty , pretty… pretty sweet. Something new, I like that, I hope every week they can keep up the good writing, WE WILL SEE TESTEES… WE WILL SEE.

I’m sleepy and bored. I’m gonna go, let’s do the run down:
TONIGHT
Homegrown Comedy hosted by Hampton Yount
Adrian Rodney
Will Hessler
Jake Young
Nora Nolan
Tyler Richardson
Eli Sairs
Tyler Sonnichsen

Then on Sunday
NBC’s Stand Up for Diversity Initiative
Where: The Baltimore Comedy Factory
When: 10 A.M.
Huh: They’re only seeing the first 100 people/comics that show up. (Since we all know there are 1 million comics in hiding in Baltimore, plan accordingly…)

Laters…