And with that.... cue that music!

Yesterday I ate lunch with a friend and a friend of a friend. It was Chipotle and delicious as always. I got a warning when we were on our way to eat, “She has scoriosis and it’s bad”. For some reason, even though it was broken down pretty straight, I was not expecting what we got. It was everywhere, and this girl was wearing a dress… it was everywhere.

I had the opportunity to see a small child going down some steps ahead of their parents. Watching this stopped boring the $#!T out of me when the toddler fell down about three concrete steps and paused at the bottom. They scraped practically every part of their leg and to make matters worse there was a black guy laughing loudly. It hits me like a wave, laughter, I wish I could share it with the world. If only we laughed at other people’s pain more… the world might be a better place.

The video of “ignorant $#!T…” from Jermaine on Ryan Conner’s Blog is too hilarious for words. Go watch and have much fun.

Bohemian Rhapsody is still something beautiful after all the time that’s passed since it was written. Whoever Freddie Mercury had on his breath when singing this was a genius…. Get it, its cause he was gay. I know I’m better than that joke but I’m going through an ugly divorce and custody battle. That B*tch took everything, even my damn socks. I capitalize the B in B*tch because that’s her name now. I bought a prostit…. I’ve said too much, I’m stressed.

I wanted a bowl of pineapple but instead found myself buying some cup that has something green, something orange and pineapple. Which just goes to show, if you want something wait for it. Don’t just take the first fruit cup that comes along.

I’m thoroughly convinced that John Legend has never been in real love. Listen to hear lyrics people, Jerry Springer $#!T. Dat n*gga can sing tho…

Yesterday I had the craziest shuffle to my door when I got home because of Chipotle. Why is it so good? And why can’t my body tolerate it for more than 2.7 hours?

For the first time in a long time my thoughts are on someone. It’s been a long time but then again most people that we meet are “black and white” until someone full of color stands out. My guess is that nothing will come of it, but since we’ve taken this whole thing really slow it’s been simmering for a while. I once told a woman friend that the only women I meet are whores. Within the same conversation she asked me how many dates until I felt I deserved some nookie. I said two or three, she told me something that stuck with me. “Maybe you only meet whores because honestly it sounds like that’s what you’re looking for”, it hit me that it might be true. Cause if someone slept with me that quick do I really want them for more than a night? Good people do still exist in this $#!THEAP of a planet we have left. Babygirl is a prime example (she doesn’t read my blog) of a damn near perfect young black woman, and I honestly have no idea why she’s attracted to me. I know that I’ve never been this excited to come to work before though. To finish up this paragraph of mush, all I’m really saying is that there is hope. “Expect nothing and you’ll always be surprised with what you get” – TRich

The news story about the 16 year old kid who killed his family is almost disturbing. I try to put myself in the shoes of one of the brothers. Your brother just killed both of your parents and took mom’s dead body up and tucked her to bed. Now he’s chasing you and your brother around with a gun and you know he’s not f*ckin around. That’s some scary $#!T! And sadly, he killed both the brothers too. Damn.

My friend Charlie said some of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard in my life. I took most of them in stride until one day he said “Oh, I don’t know man I’m not good with Roman numerals”. I believe the number in question was like twenty-something, that’s when “Charlie I have to ask, no offense but are you mentally handicapped?” He told me no, but wasn’t even offended because I was 100% curious. It’s funny how many different types of people you run into and befriend in life. I always wondered if I would know any “Kramer” types, and I would say that my friend Bernie is exactly that. Didn’t meet him until is was 17 though. Didn’t meet Kevin until I was 17 either. I didn’t know any of you fine folks until I was at least 22… wonder who else I’ll bump into to.

I found out someone in my old section is now pregnant. I hate this woman because if I say that the sky is gray, would say its greenish blue. We were just complete opposites what’s really blowing my mind is that any one could want to blow the load in this woman. Charlie described her best with this quote: “You know how you could look at certain people and just tell they got a pu**y that probably smells like oranges and tastes like apples? Well, something about her face just makes me think it’s horrible. Like it would smell like a wet wolf or something” he knows.

Yesterday I used the phrase “semen soaked nightmare..” at some extremely inappropriate time. When was that? Hmm

So tired, need potassium. Note to self: Fruit and lemonade make for $#!TY breath. I look pretty damn good today. No homo, my facial hair is starting to come around nicely. Christmas Beast, all I want under the tree is a mustache & chin combination. Dear God, please make the Christmas Beast swift and merciful, that he may deliver what is most precious to me. Dear Wolf, if God is incapable of reasoning with the Beast, please give Kevin hemorrhoids.

Praise be to the wolf.

NEW PREMISE(need your opinions):
Nelson had this idea while we were baked yesterday. Kevin was in an exam and Nelson really wanted some more Skittles, next is slight truth mixed with premise.
Nelson: Oh, I want some Skittles. (presses his fingers to his temple and thinks) Kevin!
Kevin: Nelson?! Oh my God this is awesome! We can communicate through our thoughts!
Nelson: Yes, that’s very nice but listen. I need you to bring home a bag of Skittles. A big bag of Skittles.
Kevin: Fine, this is incredible! Do you know what we can do with this power?!
Nelson: Yeah, hey… Deaven wants some Popeye’s too.
Deaven: Yeah I do.
Kevin: Oh $#!T, all three of us can do this. How long have you guys known about this?!
Deaven: I don’t know man… you’re gonna get that Popeye’s though right?
Kevin: No problem man, hey look up this exam answer real quick…
Deaven: No can do Kevin, that’s abusing the power. The wolf wouldn’t like that.
Nelson: Nah, that would probably piss the wolf off. Skittles though.
Deaven: Yeah, don’t forget that Popeye’s. And make it spicy, out.
Nelson: Out.

In the end I was just winging it, praise be to the wolf. But you get the point of that whole little paragraph. Feel free to e-mail or comment or text me or call me…. People have way too many ways to get in contact with other people these days.
Laters