Praise be to the Wolf

I just started saying that to Nelson last night while we were "Up in Smoke" and he can't get enough. It's so beautifully blasphemous. He provided me with the lovely picture that you see to the left here. Ah, drink it in. Also, if anyone thinks they can take him on in Dragonball Z BURST LIMIT, give that $#!t a shot cause the man is nasty. I spent hours watching him dominate people online yesterday.... while eating from a GIGANTO bag of Taco Bell.... and sipping on my Mylla Lite (that's country for Miller Lite).... and grabbing myself.... what? I was toasted. And we sang songs and ate Chinese food after that for 16 hours God Dang. It was a Tuesday.

The makes want to call my friend Hector, anytime that we saw an ugly woman I would cringe. I don't know why I just cringe at ugly, and he would smile. I'd say "You can't be serious, that's gross" and he ALWAYS patted me on the shoulder and said "Eh, on a Tuesday night.... there ain't nothin better to do". Oh Hector, my he forever Harlem Shake himself free of "The Clap".... cause ugly girls got that $#!t.

So at this point every comedian but Tom Myers and I have dressed up and gone to Top Shelf. I'm not bitter, as a matter a fact I find it pretty funny. Cause whenever I start to think bitter, and to be honest I was pretty f*ckin' bitter until November of last year (about comedy), I think of Nick Turner (I think he books it but if he doesn't replace him with whoever) in a burning car. He screams "Hey, I don't really remember your name but you're a comic right? Help me!!!!!" I reply " Let me call someone who's been on Top Shelf and see how close they are, I'm actually on my way somewhere". Sadly, just typing that is making me laugh at my desk and I must look crazy... which I f*ckin' am. What makes it even funnier to me is that "This Christmas" just came on my iPod while I laughed like a drunken Chinaman about letting someone die that didn't invite me to a show. Life is Beautiful, you just have to learn to laugh at the small things.

And no, I wish Nick or whoever books Top Shelf no ill. We'll high five that $#!t out when I see him again. And I will see him too.

Yesterday Jermaine left, I believe, and it's gonna be weird without him here anymore. He was the first friend that I made in comedy. I do not mean comedy friend, he's eaten with my family, slept at my place more than any female... I think, knows all of my closest friends, I'm pretty sure he was trying to holla at my sister and he's one of my best friends. When I met him I was just getting over a summer of unemployment and a break up with girl that I was with for 4 years... life was a disaster and we used to constantly joke about how bitter I was. I will go up and see him in NY and I hope that one day we'll be apart of the same comedy scene (yes, I want to move too) again. I have learned a lot from him. He was the first person I was able to call and run jokes by whenever it hit me. When I'm at work I call to discuss random $#!t, and Lord knows that man has a ton of $#!t flying through his mind too, mostly at 1 am. To anyone new, here is what Jermaine taught me that has really done more for me than I ever dreamed it would.... "Get off your @ss and hustle". I used to ask him how he knew certain people, he'd say "Oh, I look him up and then I called him". It was that simple, and then I'd see he got some crazy gig and I'd ask how he got that. He'd say "I've been calling them forever, they finally got me in", eventually I copied what he did saw results for myself. It is amazing what can happen when you call someone enough, or e-mail them to follow up on something. I spend a lot of my day making calls, especially on the drive home in traffic. What else would I be doing? That lesson, for me, was priceless cause I was definitely slacking for the first year and a half. I expected someone to see me and say "wow, he's funny. I'd love to give him every opportunity that comes across my desk." But life isn't like that. At first the calls didn't really go that well and then once it's a habit like swallowing, the professionalism seems to come across to people. I miss you alreay man. I think Jermaine is hilarious but even if no one found him funny he is too motivated to fail, NY ain't ready.

Friday I buy my tickets for The Dark Knight to see it in an IMAX theater. I'm going to be engulfed in madness.
Can't think of anything else so I guess I'll stop for today.

Laters