Just as good as the hype!

Hello everyone!

This morning I went to the IMAX theater in Chantilly, VA and checked out The Dark Knight. It was awesome. I'm not going to give a great big review because chances are you're going to see it and have probably read one of several reviews here or somewhere else by now. I personally, could not take my eyes off the screen or even muster a word until the credits started to roll. Awesome. Two-Face actually had me rooting for Aaron Eckhart to get more screen time. And, the Joker.... oh God.

When my friend Josh and I got to the theater seating was scarce. We arrived at about 11, I'm not sure when these people got there. We asked several people if seats were taken by the water bottles, skittles and jackets they had on the chairs. Until we got to Fat Greg. His name probably wasn't Greg but he was most definitely a great big fat guy. Uggg, so we ask if the two seats next to him were taken and of course, they weren't. I hate sitting next to strangers but I was a lot more willing to sit next to the couple on the other side than Fat Greg. Josh, that black son of a b*tch, yeah he's white, dived for the seat just like I did. Example: "No, they're not taken" (two grown men struggle and scuffle for one chair cause neither wants to sit next to the man. He can see them and hear them cause he's right there. Then I lost and had to play off not wanting to be next to Fat Greg). Greg was so fat I was unable to get to my armrest. You don't have to share an armrest at the IMAX, everyone has their own. His stomach went over his, filled the nice sized gap in between and came over onto my armrest. I didn't realize at first until I rested my forearm on his jelly and squealed like a pig. I turned to Josh, I hope I was whispering but I was drunk, and said "This guy is so fat I just rested my arm on his jelly". When I looked over I swear Fat Greg was looking at me through his peripheral vision. As the movie went on the only thing I could focus on, besides the masterpiece happening in front of me, was the smell coming from Greg. I'm not sure if something got caught in a fold, or if his boyfriend likes his salad tossed on Thursday nights and there was no time to brush his teeth, BUT GOD. It was nausea gas, like a big bag o d*ck. Every time he took a big breath, I cringed, every time I took a big breath I cringed. I can't hold my breath for 2 and a half hours. Rancid cheese (okay I've only got a few left) mixed with hobo tears. Fresh dog shit you just stepped in, mayo gargled by a prostitute. You get it, as we walked out of the theater it wasn't until we got to the car that we discussed the movie. Jermaine says it's the $#!t too, but the entire time we walked from our seat the car it was like high school. Everyone came out and discussed what they thought like they were film critics (I'm one to talk, I know) and in the midst of the discussion I chose to bring up Fat Greg. The movie left a pretty big impression on me, but oh Fat Greg, you left a bigger one.... on my soul. No one smelled it but me, perhaps it was all some mean trick by the Wolf for going to church. "Enjoy something great but you are going to sit in dog sh*t the entire time you enjoy it", Praise be to the wolf....

Nelson is having a big party on Saturday that I'm sure will be quite the meaty blog on Monday. 20+ people crammed in an apartment, sometimes people just don't think things through. But there will be whores, scores and scores of whores.

Gotta go seize this wonderful day, cause I took it off, snootchie boochies!

Laters