Bless Eli’s big heart, he takes on putting the list and everything with such a grin. Though, I don’t think I was a d*ck about it last night. I dare say everyone that came to me got a spot. That will not always be the case but for one night, I was super…. Thanks for asking. I even had one of those MEGA slices of pizza that Adams Morgan is known for. This wasn’t my first slice, Eli and I had a couple way back when we first went to check out the Spy Lounge. I ate a lot more yesterday than last time, why you ask? Cause baked like a pizza, that’s why.I arrived at work today to discover that for a while it will be just an Iraqi woman and I manning a 6 person team. People using leave, someone’s father passed away and then there’s the dragon in the corner who eats people that can’t answer his riddles. I steer clear of the water cooler for that reason alone. He’s good.
I just saw a man with Rasta dreads at work. It’s not the first time, but man that makes me yearn for power. To fire his @ss and anyone that wants to stand up for him. Example, of course you may have one:
TRich( pronounce trich, you guys crack me up): Damien can I speak with you?
Damien: Sure boss, what can I do for you?
T: You’re f*ckin’ fired…
D: Wha… how can you do this? Without any warning or anything.
T: Don’t make a scene, just get your stuff. I can’t have you in here “Reggae-ing” it up. Hurry now, undale undale.
D: You’re a monster, because I have pride in my roots?! Because I choose to show it? EVERYONE, I’VE BEEN FIRED FOR MY HAIR STYLE!!!
Random woman: Oh my God, Damien are you serious? That’s crazy.
T: Crazy like that report you turned in last week. You’re fired too Carol.
C: Oh my God, you’re a maniac. I quit.
T: Too late lazy I fired you 25 seconds ago, are you deaf too?
Edmund: Sir, this is a little much, isn’t it?
T: You’re fired too Edmund.
E: A$$hole! You can’t do this…
T: Too late it’s done, good bye. LOOK PEOPLE, IF YOU CROSS ME I’LL HAVE THE LAST PRETZEL IN THE UTZ TUBE! I’M ALL THE GOD YOU NEED, that’s seems a bit strong, BUT NEVER CROSS ME FOR MY WORDS ARE DIPPED IN GOLD AND WORTH EVERY CENT.
See, I can’t wait to be the boss. Sigh, waiting sucks.
On Friday Nelson and I went to my friend Stu’s house. There just so happened to be a bong that stands about 3’5 at his place and there was no way I was gonna let Nelson walk away from that slow jam. He coughed pretty badly, but it wasn’t until about an hour and half passed that I looked over at him again. Nelson was almost blue and kinda sweaty with a quivering lip. We all laughed, then like any good hetero-mate (homies 4 Life b*tch) I took him home. I got two texts from Stu: 1)the phrase “gettin smacked” has been replaced with “getting Nelsoned”. 2) So it is written. So it is done.
Babygirl finally watched my set (video not live, wouldn’t want to f*ck up and look stupid). Now that that’s out of the way, let the robbing spree begin…
On Friday my old boss came up to present me with an award and a little monies for my old section’s portfolio last year. As he walked away he said “You know you can come back, we have openings”. What he didn’t know is that I’d seen the openings which were a slight promotion but that’s only because my old position doesn’t exist anymore so everyone received a promotion. My response: “I’d seen those…. NFL season starts soon!”
Today I had someone call my phone and start our convo with “Happy Tuesday Man!”. He went on to even use the word shenanigans in a serious manner. It’s a shame there wasn’t more time, I’d love to see what type of vocabulary he uses on a day to day. So many forgotten, more importantly funny, words to throw out in conversation.
Okey doke, I’m gonna go live some more so I can blog tomorrow… God, how pathetic was that. Too lazy to hold the backspace key though… yep.
Laters
1 comment:
glad to hear spy went well, and i would love to have you as a boss.
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