So, we have a lot to catch up on don't we? First, let's start with Friday night. It was cooler than I thought it would be. I was just filling in for someone and would be hosting the shows that night. Unfortunately... I got there a little late. It was unavoidable but for any new comic out there, just know that if you think you might need to take the day off at work to get there on time, take the day off. I rushed and was about 12-15 min. late. I basically ran into the show and onto the stage, and the show began. Not sure if they secretly wanted to pelt me when I got there but everyone at the Comedy Factory was still nice and seemed understanding, I did come a little ways. So, that show was a little weird but I did some time here and there(as I was told to) and it went great. Coleman Greene was the feature act and he was a great guy. Even off stage we just sat and talked like civilized people do. I will admit that I didn't get to speak to Angel Salazar all that much, but he was really nice and crushed with every performance. I did not get a tape of any of the shows due to(in this order) 1)getting there late 2) not being ready to film the second show 3)not having the tape rewound before the lights hit. But I will live. Well, in my own honest opinion, I did really well the second and even the third(the dreaded Friday night late show) show went really well. The laughed where I wanted and seemed to enjoy the jokes as much as anyone could hope for. I give the combined performances a 8.5, and I'm proud of that. As any comedian in the Baltimore area can tell you the staff at the Comedy Factory was just great. I enjoyed them last time I did a weekend there, but I really got to talk to everyone this time around and I have nothing but great things to say about everyone there. Rock on! And thanks for having me you guys.
So then we have Saturday night... I was a stupid person and told this pretty strange guy that I work with, that I would go to his house on Saturday night. I had no idea that he wanted to play video games until 4 am!(the man is like 50) But don't get me wrong, I left at 11 pm. Let me explain, but in order. I will list(as they happened) the series of strange events that lead to my exit.
1) I got a little lost finding his house
2) I see one of my bosses going into the house so I know that is the place I'm going. Mid-conversation with a friend, I just opened the door to his house to find his wife about three steps away from the door. I immediately said aloud "Why did I just do that?" Then apologized for 5 minutes.
3) Saw the mansion that he lived in and felt ashamed.
4) Did not eat the first 5 times it was demanded cause I was still drinking my beer. He demanded some more.
5) He played 10 minutes of Audioslave louder than the band does when they're really jammin'.
6) He played the guitar for me and some co-workers and used the word "serenade", and meant it. It was awkward.
7) He stopped me and a few other people from playing video games with the phrase "In a minute, everyone can either play Edgar and I, or you can go find something else to do!" That was the sign it might be time to leave.
8) While playing the game, I was going to drink this Margarita set out. I thought it was set out for me but then he asked me if I took it. He saw it in front of me so clearly he said that to let me know it wasn't for me. But if someone sets 3 Margaritas in front of you and one other person, wouldn't you assume that one was for everyone. My mistake, but then he tells me to go ahead and have it. So, I was letting it sit so I could finish my beer. Apparently, I was nursing the beer cause he kept making remarks about how I was basically wasting that drink. Then he tried to reach in and get the apple. I'm a germaphobe so I was not having that. Then, he made a few more remarks once I finished the drink about how the apple was going to waste, so I shoved that in my face to shut him up.
9) He started up Outlaw Golf and within a couple minutes he angrily got up and switched the game. When asked why, cause he seemed pissed, he just said that he'd rather play the sequel. OKAAAY, so he does that just to show everyone how his character leads along a gimp with a chain. We weren't really that amused. Desensitized I guess.
10) Someone says "Well, we'd better get going." I look up and three of the five of us still there are leaving. Then, Edgar says he's gonna just get a ride home with them. I was like "nah, I'll take you man." Then Stu looks at me and says "Hey Tyler, could you move your car, your parked behind me?" So this was my chance. Everyone was giving good-bye handshakes and damned if I was gonna stay behind. I got up and stuck my hand in the mix. He then looks at Edgar and I and called us out. "You guys are leaving after only 2 hours?!" That was horrible, but I told him that I wasn't gonna be able to have sex if I didn't leave right then. That was pretty much the truth though. So then on our way out, the host made a couple of joke with the loud words "get out" in them. Not funny. Point taken. He kept trying to play it off though. SO we left.
11) In the car, we laughed at everything that ust took place and then it hits me. I look in the back seat cause I don't think I took my game out of his XBOX 360(by the way, he handed me a printed out inventory of all of his games for XBOX and 360, let's just say it equaled a few pieces of paper). So now it's either we go back or I get it on Monday. Edgar had to pee so we went back. I called to let him know, and he sounded a little pissed but told me to come around back.
12) When I got there his son was now home. Nice guy, I said my pleasantries and then made my way to retrieve my game, and smooth this bitch over. Edgar went to the bathroom. When he got back I felt the urge to go to the bathroom too. So, I did. When I come out of the bathroom the first thing I see is that for some reason this guy's son is now shirtless. And he was a BIG BOY. Jelly big, not sexy big. He was showing off his ARM tattoos, so he took his shirt off. That was all I needed to see though. I made for quick compliments and then a handshake and we were outta there like a bat out of hell. All praise to Meatloaf! So that was my Saturday, plus I went home and had sexin's. That too, was beautiful.
In one of my earlier blogs I gave out my gamer tag. It's Devo2021 in case you weren't reading, but someone finally made contact. I will not say who cause I haven't actually conquered them, but you all know them quite well. When the day comes that he feels my chainsaw, I will plaster his name and hopefully a snapshot of me killing him with it. But, all in the name of love, I hope he'll give me an equally brutal tongue lashing if he comes up the better man. And, there's a good chance he'll be better.
Well people, it's off to Soho for practice(hopefully) and then to God knows where. VIVA LA TYLER! Laters...
5 years ago
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