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Just as good as a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.

Monday, December 08, 2008

It'll be a while til we say hello again "Juice"


I spent the day throwing up, it was my own fault so don’t feel pity for this guy. Friday I was determined to eat the remaining Thanksgiving leftovers that I had in the fridge. Problem was that I got caught up drinking Absinthe and forgot that I left all that meat (and greens) laying out on the counter. Well, after running many errands and shopping the day away on Saturday I got home and decided to eat them before I had to throw them out. That was the mistake, I still had a complete order from Chipotle sitting in the fridge, there was no need to bottom feed. So, how did I wake up on Sunday? Puking my f’n brains out, it continued every 20 minutes for about 5 hours. That was more than I have ever vomited in my life, and to be honest “It made me want my mommy”. Sometimes it’s nice to be doted on hand and foot when you have an ouchie. But sadly, I’m a grown man so I laid there miserably and let my dog comfort me with hypnotic songs. He sang Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd that would make you shed a tear.

I’m dead sexy, that is all.

Movie Reviews:
WANTED – Any one that said this movie was not that great should be immediately slapped to the ground. I rocked your socks off and then rocked some more. My friend Mike complains that he never wants to see any more Angelina Jolie movies because she always plays the same character now (bad ass chick fighter woman). To that I say SLAP, I wish the young man in the film many more since I loved the way he portrayed his character, he went from wimp to weapon. The pacing did not feel rushed and God bless them, they even gave you Morgan Freeman (and more Freeman than Evan Almighty, that’s what would have helped that unfunny movie). A+

Get Smart- Perhaps I’m partial to the Office, but I saw the 40 year old Virgin before I ever saw an episode of the Office. With that said Steve Carrell pretty much ALWAYS disappoints in theaters. Anchorman doesn’t count since that (aside from Daily News) kinda put him on the map. Dan in Real Life, Little Miss Sunshine (the movie was great but he certainly didn’t stand out), Bewitched and the list goes on and on. But, to Get Smart’s credit I did laugh a few times but damn it could have been better. Anne Hathaway could not be finer though, very few people are in the category of “I’d drink their toilet water” but… C

I have not slept with a woman wearing a wig yet, with that said the thought kinda creeps me out. We’ll just see where that ends up, cause everything else appears to be quite do-able. “Will our courageous hero muster up the strength to bang the wig off this big chested Jezebel?” Stay tuned for further episodes of The Blessed Rod and the Girls…

Video Game Review:
The Prince of Persia- “That $#!T was STRAIGHT SEX!!!” – Chuck Norris A+

Christmas Wish List:
The pubic hair of the Incredible Hulk (none of your business why I need that)
Tears of newly crippled beautiful woman
The bottled laughter of a rapist
Jerked Chicken (what, that’s funny to me)
A mini dance featuring Jermaine Fowler (his little dances always make me chortle)
Sex
Mom’s love, accompanied by her money
Grandma’s cooking, then a peek at that will
A toke with Grandpa, I’m a little pissed that I never got to do that
Foghat marathon of songs on XM Radio
Anne Hathaway as a slave, you beautiful big eyed temptress
Video Feed of Eli sleeping, no questions
To write a funny joke
A new Jake Young hat, doesn’t matter which one, the man has taste
Chris Barylick to date a model, the gift of giving is the best gift of all lastly…
Superpowers

On Saturday I actually heard a man yell “Well no one will give me a loan cause I’m a dead beat and I don’t pay my bills on time!” Couldn’t have wrote it better.

For the first time ever, a mechanic hooked me up last week. He said come on in and we’ll take care of that and followed through on it. It saved me $400 and probably the life of small child. Cause if I had to pay that money I was gonna pick some kid up and punt him the ever loving sweet $#!T out of him.

Gonna go now, but keep smiling, tomorrow The Dark Knight comes out on Blu-Ray and DVD!!!!

Peaces

2 comments:

eli sairs said...

why video? come on over and watch me sleep...i have a swivel chair...

Unknown said...

You sly devil, if I come over there anything can happen... rape. You're an animal and need distance, you don't step in the cage with Tigers to fed them Eli. Oh, I like that reference, write that down.

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I blog during work to keep from sleeping. Unless people from my job are monitoring this, in which case "I love my job; I have a family". My dog Max is the man too. Other than that I think reading this blog gives a pretty good idea of what I'm about. Red Jell-o, need I say more.

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