New York tomorrow, Baltimore Comedy Factory this weekend (despite the typo on the webpage that says Tyler S. is Hosting). Had a great weekend, much T-Day leftovers and Chipotle to fill in the gaps. New jokes, new Riding with Strangers videos to come this week (Nelson doesn't even know yet) and now; back to the Sasquatch interview.
And we’re back with Sasquatch, for those that were not here yesterday ol’ Sas was just opening up a bit about his life. Turns out he eats people but I guess we should’ve expected that one. Now we’re going to delve a bit further into this mythical beasture (yeah, I made that word up… you love it).
Tyler: Sasquatch, may I call you Geronimo?
Sasquatch: No, you should probably just use my name… Shaftmeat McGilicutty
T: Ouch, I think I’ll keep it formal. So Sasquatch, why did you stay in seclusion for so long? Why not come out and embrace humans and our society earlier?
S: For a long time, it was because I feared being eaten. Aside from the fact that I know my own meat to be delicious, I’ve eaten so many of you all that I would expect someone to eat of my flesh as merely revenge. After that fear went away I decided that I didn’t want to spend my life in a laboratory just because I was lonely.
T: What made you change your mind?
S: I have a damn good lawyer.
T: Right on to that. As something that was believed to be a myth, do you believe in the Loch Ness monster or any other creature that has not come out into our world yet?
S: Well, I would never betray a friend but don’t ever piss off a unicorn. Especially if he’s losing in a game of bones.
T: Are you a fan of Twilight?
S: Absolutely, Team Jacob.
T: Well, that’s…
T: Next question, if you were ordering in a Burger King, what meal are you eating?
S: I’m a Wendy’s kinda beast, number six, large, drink doesn’t matter.
T: Nice, I like their Big Bacon Classic too.
S: I said number six.
T: Ooookay, welpers, it’s about time to let you get back to your life. You must be warm in here because the heat is really catching your aroma and bringing it back to my mouth.
S: Yes to the aroma, but no to the heat, I’m quite comfortable.
T: You know what isn’t comfortable?
S: Do tell…
T: A condom.
S: (stares blankly while blinking)
T: Alright everyone, that’s all for today but we’re back tomorrow with updates from the city that never sleeps; Maine.
S: You mean New York… and Maine is a state.
T: For Sasquatch, I’m Tyler Richardson saying “Don’t buy the cow if she sleeps with everyone for a little Tequila. Good Night everyone.”
A THING THAT HAPPENED - I don’t usually write sincere posts on here, but “here goes” or whatever “people” “say” “anymore”. And this is not about my secret Scientology past (oops!)...
2 years ago