How was your weekend? Mine was relaxing… for the most part. No grand adventure to speak of , just a haze of memories that I missed terribly as I kept waking up between the hours of 3- 5:30 am. I almost feel like life is to forever miss what you can’t get back, no matter what is right in front of you. But on the plus side, Christmas is right in front of us (go with me, not against me)… How sad I will be on the 26th of December.
You tell me whether or not this should depress me: I got Tiger Woods Golf 09 and “I’m a beast”, but my arms are killing me. All the constant tapping is something even a gamer like myself isn’t used to. The best way I can describe it is “It feels like I’ve just had the work out of my life”. Nelson was stoked about that, my reaction “How sad is it that I do so little, playing this video game has got me weak?” Back to the game though, online play is sweet since everyone can hit at the same time.
Nelson is obsessed with the Blumpkin. Wikipedia that if you want: http://www.wikipedia.org/
I’m attempting to stop smoking, cigarettes, and we’ll see just how long that lasts. I have yet to buy another pack, so maybe it’ll stick… doubt it though. I’m just saying, “If you spot any pictures of me doing something out of the norm, like suckin’ a d*ck for pizza. Just know that I’m trying to kick a habit cold turkey here. Cut me a little f*ckin’ slack”.
Beer doesn’t make everything better, but it does make anything bad a little more bearable. “Tyler, I’m sorry to say this but I’m leaving you… are you listening? Oh, you’re drinking a Miller Lite. Good-bye, and hey (yeah) did you wanna blumpkin?” (of course I do)
I decided that traffic isn’t going to disappear by going more high tech, instead we need to dumb it down. What am I proposing? A Traffic Knight. A rider that Klip-Klops through traffic on his gigantic white steed, produced by inbreeding and a lot of horse steroids, to keep traffics flow as silky as my nether-hair. With a blade as wide as my d*ck… you know what? That was vulgar, and completely unnecessary, let me go back. Take 2: With a blade as wide as a fat chick’s list of guy friends, he would make sure that tailgating, excessive braking, doing your make-up and driving while female are corrected. Mostly, he’s there to push random $#!T and dead bodies out of the way for everyone’s morning commute. Not to be cold, but my boss doesn’t care about how many flips you did or that you were still smiling when I passed your decapitated head on 95. I gotta be somewhere…
Love is one of those funny, extinct, words is still used but no one is using it correctly anymore. I was just thinking about more words like that, here’s what I’ve come up with:
Lady
Gentleman
Regardless
F*ck (look up where this word comes from if you “really” haven’t, chances are you don’t know)
Borrow (pens, gum, money…)
Friend (“Eh Gurl, let a n*gga get cho number! Oh, you gotta man… can we be friends then? Cool, now letta n*gga get cho number!”)
Jew (this is probably used as an adjective more than speaking of the faith)
I hate to give money to “mom n’ pop” places because I have a deep fear of everything I touch being soaked in semen. That’s just what I’m afraid of, how about you?
We are all allowed to listen to Michael Jackson’s music free of judgement at home, alone. As soon as you play when anyone else is within an ear shot, you just forfeit every ounce of respect they had for you. It’s not fair, most of us that judge you are saying “That song was the $#!T back when I was a kid!” But I still judge you anyway, we all do. That goes double for Nelson, who keeps singing P.Y.T., I’m sorry.
I have no idea if I passed middle schoolers or high schoolers this morning, but I do know we were looking each other in the eye. WTF are we feeding these kids?!
When is the last time you did the robot at work?
(what followed was a robot dance that started at Tyler’s cubicle and made it’s way out into the hall. Tyler danced into the bathroom and snatched a man out of a stall that was taking “le $#!T” then proceeded to force people to join in. He’d always been a fan of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and desperately wanted to recreate it. Halfway down the stairs, still mid verse (remember what song they all sang, you better cause I’m not gonna tell you) Security put a night stick right in his temple. He was crippled, but it was still something everyone speaks of where he worked, even 20 years later. As he fell to the ground in a seizure, the Traffic Knight came and moved his body to the side of the stairs… so people could get by)
Laters
You tell me whether or not this should depress me: I got Tiger Woods Golf 09 and “I’m a beast”, but my arms are killing me. All the constant tapping is something even a gamer like myself isn’t used to. The best way I can describe it is “It feels like I’ve just had the work out of my life”. Nelson was stoked about that, my reaction “How sad is it that I do so little, playing this video game has got me weak?” Back to the game though, online play is sweet since everyone can hit at the same time.
Nelson is obsessed with the Blumpkin. Wikipedia that if you want: http://www.wikipedia.org/
I’m attempting to stop smoking, cigarettes, and we’ll see just how long that lasts. I have yet to buy another pack, so maybe it’ll stick… doubt it though. I’m just saying, “If you spot any pictures of me doing something out of the norm, like suckin’ a d*ck for pizza. Just know that I’m trying to kick a habit cold turkey here. Cut me a little f*ckin’ slack”.
Beer doesn’t make everything better, but it does make anything bad a little more bearable. “Tyler, I’m sorry to say this but I’m leaving you… are you listening? Oh, you’re drinking a Miller Lite. Good-bye, and hey (yeah) did you wanna blumpkin?” (of course I do)
I decided that traffic isn’t going to disappear by going more high tech, instead we need to dumb it down. What am I proposing? A Traffic Knight. A rider that Klip-Klops through traffic on his gigantic white steed, produced by inbreeding and a lot of horse steroids, to keep traffics flow as silky as my nether-hair. With a blade as wide as my d*ck… you know what? That was vulgar, and completely unnecessary, let me go back. Take 2: With a blade as wide as a fat chick’s list of guy friends, he would make sure that tailgating, excessive braking, doing your make-up and driving while female are corrected. Mostly, he’s there to push random $#!T and dead bodies out of the way for everyone’s morning commute. Not to be cold, but my boss doesn’t care about how many flips you did or that you were still smiling when I passed your decapitated head on 95. I gotta be somewhere…
Love is one of those funny, extinct, words is still used but no one is using it correctly anymore. I was just thinking about more words like that, here’s what I’ve come up with:
Lady
Gentleman
Regardless
F*ck (look up where this word comes from if you “really” haven’t, chances are you don’t know)
Borrow (pens, gum, money…)
Friend (“Eh Gurl, let a n*gga get cho number! Oh, you gotta man… can we be friends then? Cool, now letta n*gga get cho number!”)
Jew (this is probably used as an adjective more than speaking of the faith)
I hate to give money to “mom n’ pop” places because I have a deep fear of everything I touch being soaked in semen. That’s just what I’m afraid of, how about you?
We are all allowed to listen to Michael Jackson’s music free of judgement at home, alone. As soon as you play when anyone else is within an ear shot, you just forfeit every ounce of respect they had for you. It’s not fair, most of us that judge you are saying “That song was the $#!T back when I was a kid!” But I still judge you anyway, we all do. That goes double for Nelson, who keeps singing P.Y.T., I’m sorry.
I have no idea if I passed middle schoolers or high schoolers this morning, but I do know we were looking each other in the eye. WTF are we feeding these kids?!
When is the last time you did the robot at work?
(what followed was a robot dance that started at Tyler’s cubicle and made it’s way out into the hall. Tyler danced into the bathroom and snatched a man out of a stall that was taking “le $#!T” then proceeded to force people to join in. He’d always been a fan of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and desperately wanted to recreate it. Halfway down the stairs, still mid verse (remember what song they all sang, you better cause I’m not gonna tell you) Security put a night stick right in his temple. He was crippled, but it was still something everyone speaks of where he worked, even 20 years later. As he fell to the ground in a seizure, the Traffic Knight came and moved his body to the side of the stairs… so people could get by)
Laters
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