How dare I lie the other day and then get sick when I should’ve been weaving tales of madness and love. Just in case it helps someone down the road; don’t eat road candy. That goes for highway Snicker bars, trash can 100 Grands, barely pooped on Starbursts and a little peed on Kit Kat bar. You will get sick, trust me.
Dance to yourself for a moment while I sip Cherry Coke. Now hit the Booty Doo.
Why do work erections always put me to sleep? They’re a gift and a curse.
I don’t know why I have the urge to scream out “sex party!” but when something feels this right how could it be wrong. Then again, that’s the same thing I used to say about not wearing condoms… and not washing fruit that I’ve purchased… and not flirting with fat women. Nah, I’m right.
I wish ice cream could scream when I ate it. I love a good horror tale.
You put your left foot, you take your left foot out… God, I’m bored. Yet I still don’t really want the week to end. I’m terrible at committing to anything, I didn’t even finish the hokey pokey a sentence ago.
The Fowlest’s CD is out, cop that junks. Word.
“What up b*tch! Who is this calling my phone from a random number? (It’s your mother, she just had an accident and is using the tow truck driver’s cell phone) Oh, hi mommy.” END
What are you going to be for Halloween? “A rapist.” This quote was taken from a conversation between myself and my friend Jocelyn earlier today. Did I mention that there is nothing funny about rape?
I wonder if I should’ve capitalized the r in rapist… nah, let’s move on.
When a woman who can barely fit her boobs in her shirt makes references to them during a conversation. I’d like to consider that God giving the “go ahead.”
Tomorrow is Friday, for years I’ve protected the Earth from certain doom with a dance I perform to keep the goblins below our crust. I’ve danced and watched as children are born and grow. I’ve watched people win the lottery and buy shirts more expensive than my finest silk skin condoms. But tomorrow, I say no more. I will not dance for a world that encourages Gucci Mane. Brace yourself for the end of times, I’m going to play the lotto!
Trojan Man visited my living room the other night. Problem was that I was alone at the time, and not having “relations.” He just wanted a place to relax and drink, so we watched 9 and a half weeks. He refused to share my popcorn, so I had none. Uncool house guest of the year award…
Oh God, a herpe! Nope, never mind, this is just a weird mouth pimple.
I could go for a bowl of mashed potatoes right now. I just had lunch but I’d like to launch it at someone’s face. Snoogens
Dance to yourself for a moment while I sip Cherry Coke. Now hit the Booty Doo.
Why do work erections always put me to sleep? They’re a gift and a curse.
I don’t know why I have the urge to scream out “sex party!” but when something feels this right how could it be wrong. Then again, that’s the same thing I used to say about not wearing condoms… and not washing fruit that I’ve purchased… and not flirting with fat women. Nah, I’m right.
I wish ice cream could scream when I ate it. I love a good horror tale.
You put your left foot, you take your left foot out… God, I’m bored. Yet I still don’t really want the week to end. I’m terrible at committing to anything, I didn’t even finish the hokey pokey a sentence ago.
The Fowlest’s CD is out, cop that junks. Word.
“What up b*tch! Who is this calling my phone from a random number? (It’s your mother, she just had an accident and is using the tow truck driver’s cell phone) Oh, hi mommy.” END
What are you going to be for Halloween? “A rapist.” This quote was taken from a conversation between myself and my friend Jocelyn earlier today. Did I mention that there is nothing funny about rape?
I wonder if I should’ve capitalized the r in rapist… nah, let’s move on.
When a woman who can barely fit her boobs in her shirt makes references to them during a conversation. I’d like to consider that God giving the “go ahead.”
Tomorrow is Friday, for years I’ve protected the Earth from certain doom with a dance I perform to keep the goblins below our crust. I’ve danced and watched as children are born and grow. I’ve watched people win the lottery and buy shirts more expensive than my finest silk skin condoms. But tomorrow, I say no more. I will not dance for a world that encourages Gucci Mane. Brace yourself for the end of times, I’m going to play the lotto!
Trojan Man visited my living room the other night. Problem was that I was alone at the time, and not having “relations.” He just wanted a place to relax and drink, so we watched 9 and a half weeks. He refused to share my popcorn, so I had none. Uncool house guest of the year award…
Oh God, a herpe! Nope, never mind, this is just a weird mouth pimple.
I could go for a bowl of mashed potatoes right now. I just had lunch but I’d like to launch it at someone’s face. Snoogens
Peaces
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