Hello again, let’s just be random and jump in.On Saturday I read that the Dodo bird is extinct because they all queefed at the same time. After taking a minute to really let that settle I realized it was Nelson’s handwriting on a napkin and discredited that theory. Well played Sayson, well played.
For Halloween I intend to go as a streaker.
Lately my roommates and I have been going crazy with the hot sauce (which is an understatement) known as Endorphin Rush. Naturally I will let you know how it works out, but we have this great idea for a friend that I know does not read this blog. He is a mooch and can’t resist the urge to ask for any of what you are eating. Rather than try to pass him the “poison” piece of whatever the food of choice will be, we’re going to dump that crap on everything. It’s worth having an hour and a half of discomfort for a really good prank. Did I mention that he cannot tolerate anything spicy. It’s always fun and games until someone’s system can’t take it and dies. We’re good friends.
I don’t want to go into too much detail about it, but on a recent first date a woman told me she had been raped. Within the next two hours I actually used the sentence “I find rape funny… not yours but in general.” True story
I don’t know how many references to Dead Poets Society I’m going to have to endure this month, so far I think the count on popular TV shows is three, but I hate Robin Williams’ movies. I can’t force myself to cut myself.
I have to stop telling people that I do not read. Nothing positive can come of it. I don’t run into anyone that throws out “Showering feels like a waste of time.”
Thank you Chevy Chase, you’re the best part of my Thursday. Well, to be honest you’re tied with my accounting professor who is a smoking hot celtic woman. But she had coffee breath on Thursday so you’re in the lead for a couple of days.
Places I never want to wake up again:
On the grass in my neighborhood (apparently what seemed like a stumble was a 3 hour nap)
On my couch with Kevin’s feet in my lap… no comment
On the toilet, my ass has never been in a coma like that before
Michigan
I-95, that’s just irresponsible. City driving is just catching up on some sleep though.
For awhile I believed that Ja Rule was a song away from a comeback. Just because 50 Cent ended his career way back in 2003 doesn’t mean that he couldn’t flow anymore right? Wrong, last night I saw a new video with Christina Milian featuring Mr. Rule and he was terrible. Like watching a retarded kid catch raindrops.
Is acne contagious? Because I’m almost certain that there is an analyst spreading it amongst her friends. If I get it I know who I’m giving it to, Prince. No one deserves to be that pretty.
It’s been a year since I returned to school and I’m still unable to turn straw into gold. Sometimes I think what’s the point. Then I remember Rumpelstiltskin and that it can be done, and I study harder.
Chipotle burrito + Grandmama’s chili = Meat Sweats, yesterday was a long day.
For those that would like a break from the non-sense lets just take a second and think about Kathy Bates nude scene in About Schmidt. There, your mind should be a blank slate. Let’s resume…
I’m in the mood to sing a song today. But, I doubt that Baby’s Got Back is appropriate for the workplace. Instead I guess I’ll go with the song that doesn’t end.
Last night I may have spent about 5 minutes listening to domestic violence next door. I say may because they were African and I imagine that the sex could sound a lot like domestic violence. There was a lot of yelling in another language with the occasional thud. Time will tell, but either way it was none of my business.
In case I don’t jump back on before the week is over (Jesus, it’s only Tuesday) I cannot wait for this great weekend coming up. In case I do have time to blog (my God he’s actually been working while at work) then we shall do this tango tomorrow.
Peaces
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