I have returned!

A lot of comedy coming up for the next several months but let's start by plugging what's up first:

November 13th at the State Theater: Will Hessler, Eli Sairs, Seaton Smith, Tyler Richardson and Jermaine Fowler! Tickets are $11, doors open at 8 and the show begins at 9. Must be 18 to enter. Show love folks.

Upon sitting here for a minute, I spotted what appeared to be some skin of mine on an affidavit. I went to flick it away and it didn’t move. Two things immediately ran through my mind. The first is someone was eating an Iced Fudge Glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut at my desk in the middle of the night and let a piece hit my paper. The other option was that a mystery booger stumbled onto my desk and I just touched it with my bare skin. That’s how my Wednesday started.

Did you recognize the quintessential villain from every 80's movie worth remembering in the picture above? Did you know he was gay? Look him up in IMDB, he's there with his lover. Just something I found interesting.

I tweeted about a man who received a 31 year sentence after smearing and hurling his own feces in a courtroom yesterday. Slowly another story, not involving feces, makes me laugh more and more. Here it is (given to us to laugh about by http://law.rightpundits.com/?p=920): Man Punches “Zombie” In Iowa Restaurant - You know you’ve watched too many zombie movies when you perceive someone you see on the street as a zombie. Such might well be the case of this incidence.

It seems that in the early morning hours on Sunday, October 25, 2009, a man was ordering food at an Iowa City restaurant when another man accused him of being a ‘zombie’ and punched him in the face. The restaurant is just south of the University of Iowa campus, so it’s possible that the assailant was playing too many ‘zombie’ games on his Playstation.
Whatever the case, the one guy was just minding his own business and ordering food at a Panchero’s restaurant at 1:17 a.m. when the perpetrator socked him in the nose. The victim pulled out his cell phone and tried to call the police. At that point, the man punched him in the nose again, breaking his nose.

The assailant fled out of a back door of the restaurant while the victim was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Neither of the men’s names have been released. There is no further information as to whether or not the attacker has been captured or the condition of the man with the broken nose.

Iowa City Area CrimeStopper is offering a $1,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the suspect. If you have any information on the man who punched the ‘zombie’ at the Iowa restaurant, you can call CrimeStoppers at 358-TIPS (8477).

The assailant is described as a dark-complected white male, short brown hair, between 6′ to 6′2″, weighting between 200 and 230 pounds. He is about 20 years of age. At the time of the assault, he was wearing a blue jeans and a brown coat.

And we’re back… hope everyone could giggle at a mean scenario that did not involve them like I did. Good times.

I always dreamed that by this age I would have found a pool of oil in my back yard and retired to search for the last Dodo bird. Oh it’s out there… I’ll find it one day.

Time to schedule a dentist appointment. The chipped tooth is really getting on my nerves. I’m like a fat person that refuses to work out, don’t pity me.

For the first time in my life I watched about 15 minutes of an episode of Friends last night. I was entertained, so I guess I’m a gay guy now… or white. Sigh, I have to call my mother. Oh God, she’s gonna be heartbroken either way.

I have high hopes for the next several months as far as comedy is concerned. An opportunity to make a tape I’ve been trying to get to someone forever and a day now; travel, and even seeing the Fowlest a few times. Starting with Sunday…

Nelson’s quote of the day: “If that’s rape… well I guess I’m guilty.”

Must get back to the gym, my heartbeat is showing.

Can it be that AT&T’s service is getting worse than I already despised it for being? I have to get up and walk to the bathroom sometimes to get service enough for a text message. Picture message? Well that involves me walking all the way outside, I really have to care to send a pic during the work day.

Apparently when you’re trying to figure out who is spoken about, asking “Who, the midget?” is rude. Go figure.

I declined the opportunity to give $1 to end world hunger at KFC on Saturday and still feel really good about it. (You’re a jerk) I know (You’re a jerk) I know, hey you ain’t never lie but eh, do me a favor call me jerk one more time… I love that song.

Lil Wayne is going to jail. How am I, excuse me… are we, supposed to survive an entire year without a hit single every week or two with him on it. I hope he’s working double time to make sure it’s like he never left. Tupac style.

Well, I’m off for training in dragon killing. Oh I’m excited!

Peaces