Since I have become Google's main authority on Sasquatch (I wish that weren't as true as it is) I'm here with a New Year's Treat. Without further ado: Sasquatch in space.
The door to the living room area opens and all that can be seen is a streak of brown as Sasquatch goes running to his room. He thought he would be alone for longer and there was a marathon of Small Wonder on TV Land. That robot chick is hot… to Sasquatch.
For the Christmas party Sasquatch gave Susan, an officer aboard the spacecraft, a flip book of his naked toe touches. He thought she would be touched. She has since filed a complaint with Human Resources.
Sasquatch is insensitive to the overweight members of the crew. To show them what a good figure truly looks like, he created “Daisy Duke Tuesdays.” The only participant is him, and he shovels ice cream into his face while taunting “the fatties.” His words, not mine.
Sasquatch once made love to a woman whose favorite food was chicken. Because of her infidelity, he refuses to eat most of the prepared food on board. He insists it will turn him into a “clap-having Jezebel.”
Secretly, Sasquatch likes to watch Sex and the City. He also cries every time Carrie and Big break up.
Sasquatch was the one who didn’t flush the toilet on Wednesday. That got blamed on Doug, the black janitor.
Sometimes Sasquatch will stare out into space and just let his mind go blank in it’s beauty. It was then that Doug (the black janitor) came over:
“What’s up Sachy? Oh my God, you’re pissing right in the middle of the living area! I have to clean that $#!T!”
Sasquatch was accused of sexual harassment because of his incessant staring at Carla. He doesn’t find her sexually attractive, he just thinks her eyes are too far apart. Sometimes you can’t stop looking when something is bizarre. Like when Doug’s fly was open and Sasquatch noticed white pubes.
Sasquatch pushed Jim, the only Asian on the space craft, into space because he refused to share some of his Poly-O string cheese. Don’t f with Sasquatch and his cheese.
Sasquatch has not gotten the hang of going to the bathroom in space so he waits for it to happen and calls Doug to come clean it up.
Sasquatch’s Nintendo DS Lite broke almost as soon as they reached space. He stole Janice’s urinated on it to mark his territory. Janice wasn’t fooled by the urine, but due to rumors that Sachy pushed Jim out into space; she kept her mouth shut.
Sachy loves blacksploitation. He just does, BOSS N*GGER.
During the crew’s movie night (Steel Magnolias was playing) Sasquatch intentionally caused an argument amongst everyone so that he could watch the movie like it was supposed to be watched; alone. Next week is Fried Green Tomatoes…
Sasquatch has ordered several items from Amazon.com and the merchant’s did not deliver his Christmas gifts to relatives and friends in time. Only the crew was there to feel his wrath. Plus he gets pretty gassy when he’s upset.
Lastly, Sachy did not grant permission for this investigative (yep, who’s to say I didn’t?) journalism. Currently he has retained legal services and would like to be left out of this blog in the future. The letter I received stating this was written with a poo crayon. I giggled before I called lawyers for consultation. Apparently, I’m in deep $#!T. Haha, he wrote to me with feces. Tee hee…
Peaces
For the Christmas party Sasquatch gave Susan, an officer aboard the spacecraft, a flip book of his naked toe touches. He thought she would be touched. She has since filed a complaint with Human Resources.
Sasquatch is insensitive to the overweight members of the crew. To show them what a good figure truly looks like, he created “Daisy Duke Tuesdays.” The only participant is him, and he shovels ice cream into his face while taunting “the fatties.” His words, not mine.
Sasquatch once made love to a woman whose favorite food was chicken. Because of her infidelity, he refuses to eat most of the prepared food on board. He insists it will turn him into a “clap-having Jezebel.”
Secretly, Sasquatch likes to watch Sex and the City. He also cries every time Carrie and Big break up.
Sasquatch was the one who didn’t flush the toilet on Wednesday. That got blamed on Doug, the black janitor.
Sometimes Sasquatch will stare out into space and just let his mind go blank in it’s beauty. It was then that Doug (the black janitor) came over:
“What’s up Sachy? Oh my God, you’re pissing right in the middle of the living area! I have to clean that $#!T!”
Sasquatch was accused of sexual harassment because of his incessant staring at Carla. He doesn’t find her sexually attractive, he just thinks her eyes are too far apart. Sometimes you can’t stop looking when something is bizarre. Like when Doug’s fly was open and Sasquatch noticed white pubes.
Sasquatch pushed Jim, the only Asian on the space craft, into space because he refused to share some of his Poly-O string cheese. Don’t f with Sasquatch and his cheese.
Sasquatch has not gotten the hang of going to the bathroom in space so he waits for it to happen and calls Doug to come clean it up.
Sasquatch’s Nintendo DS Lite broke almost as soon as they reached space. He stole Janice’s urinated on it to mark his territory. Janice wasn’t fooled by the urine, but due to rumors that Sachy pushed Jim out into space; she kept her mouth shut.
Sachy loves blacksploitation. He just does, BOSS N*GGER.
During the crew’s movie night (Steel Magnolias was playing) Sasquatch intentionally caused an argument amongst everyone so that he could watch the movie like it was supposed to be watched; alone. Next week is Fried Green Tomatoes…
Sasquatch has ordered several items from Amazon.com and the merchant’s did not deliver his Christmas gifts to relatives and friends in time. Only the crew was there to feel his wrath. Plus he gets pretty gassy when he’s upset.
Lastly, Sachy did not grant permission for this investigative (yep, who’s to say I didn’t?) journalism. Currently he has retained legal services and would like to be left out of this blog in the future. The letter I received stating this was written with a poo crayon. I giggled before I called lawyers for consultation. Apparently, I’m in deep $#!T. Haha, he wrote to me with feces. Tee hee…
Peaces
No comments:
Post a Comment