So, Anupuma, Bryson, Molberg, Jake Young, Jeff Maurer and myself all went down to the hospital for bit of laughter and things. We split into two teams, MaurerTurnerYoung banded together while the team of AnupumaEricTyler mounted on the otherside of the floor. We would be visiting three rooms instead of doing everything in the room of games and things. I guess some of the children couldn’t make it out of bed but only one looked incapable of getting up. Not to be a d*ck, but the two boys that our team visited first were great, they were receptive and basically the type of audience you hope for when you walk off the elevator and smell sick in the air. The last girl, I didn’t see when the other three performed, was in so much pain it felt kinda strange. While it’s expected, there were three occasions where mid-laugh she had to hit the pain killer button. I don’t care what you say that will stop a joke right in its tracks. Stopped Anupuma, it stopped me (plus a nurse had to come refill it) and Molberg… well Molberg was just awkward to watch. Perhaps I was pushing the boundaries of what could and could not be said but Molberg took a footstep and ran a mile. Nelson and I laughed about it cause his sets for these children included jokes about Crystal Meth, slaughtering your co-workers, lessons in gambling and then appropriate material. In no way am I actually judging what material he did, but I know that if I was a turtle during some of that you wouldn’t even be able to see my eyes. But, the children laughed and whenever a child laughs the wolf makes delicious Toaster’s Strudel. Praise be to the wolf… and Kate for putting it all together, I got a lovely rose out of it.
I may have an alcohol problem. It’s not really a problem for me, but boy you should have seen the look on Nelson’s face when I pulled out a Miller Lite while driving HIS car. Priceless.
I wish that last couple of sentences weren’t true but it’s so much funnier to me that it is. Plus I’d just kissed MJ, but there’s nothing wrong with that.
What do you say when a woman flat out asks you “What are your intentions with me?” It’s a bold question, I think I answered well on the spot. Go from the heart yo!
If you have any medium of entertainment then by now you must be informed that there will be a press conference tomorrow where we just might find out that Bigfoot is real and captured. That cracked me up on the way to work this morning and apparently it’s male. The first thought I had was, this thing has been running around in the forest for God knows how long without a shower or anything that would leave a good smell. That Yeti has got to smell like a half mile of dog nuts with cheese on’em. Gross, I’ll watch from my living room cause someone’s going to have their ability to smell taken from them by force. Let’s just imagine what could happen:
Guy: Oh my God, it’s real. I don’t believe it.
Man at podium: That’s right feast your eyes on what many have chased but few have tasted!
Guy: Woo-Hoo!!... what is that smell? Oh my God, oh God it smells like hundred year old wolf p*ssy! Ow, my eyes! I can’t see! I’m f*cking blind man! Owwww!
Man at podium: Move along now, nothing to see here anymore.
I purchased a lot of Krispy Kreme doughnuts yesterday, that is all.
Need a haircut bad, look like a slave that’s not allowed in the house.
One day I would like to write a poem just like Dr. Seuss, the man was brilliantly twisted. I bet he had some freaktacular late night visits. “Hear I want you to smash the jelly with your toes until I’m finished”- Dr. Seuss (not really, but wouldn’t that be applause worthy)
I honestly can’t remember if I’ve ever shared this in the past, so here we go again. My friend Josh is married with children. Back when he was not someone’s father and still single but dating his wife he got really drunk one night. After making out for some time he thought things were going to pick up fast. I guess they had been making out a little too long for Josh to feel comfortable with, he shouts out (keep in mind they’re in the “heat of the moment”) “Jesus Christ, will you suck my d*ck already!” Notice there is not question mark, cause while they both shared the story with me it did not sound like he was asking. By far, his best moment that I wasn’t there to see.
I may have an alcohol problem. It’s not really a problem for me, but boy you should have seen the look on Nelson’s face when I pulled out a Miller Lite while driving HIS car. Priceless.
I wish that last couple of sentences weren’t true but it’s so much funnier to me that it is. Plus I’d just kissed MJ, but there’s nothing wrong with that.
What do you say when a woman flat out asks you “What are your intentions with me?” It’s a bold question, I think I answered well on the spot. Go from the heart yo!
If you have any medium of entertainment then by now you must be informed that there will be a press conference tomorrow where we just might find out that Bigfoot is real and captured. That cracked me up on the way to work this morning and apparently it’s male. The first thought I had was, this thing has been running around in the forest for God knows how long without a shower or anything that would leave a good smell. That Yeti has got to smell like a half mile of dog nuts with cheese on’em. Gross, I’ll watch from my living room cause someone’s going to have their ability to smell taken from them by force. Let’s just imagine what could happen:
Guy: Oh my God, it’s real. I don’t believe it.
Man at podium: That’s right feast your eyes on what many have chased but few have tasted!
Guy: Woo-Hoo!!... what is that smell? Oh my God, oh God it smells like hundred year old wolf p*ssy! Ow, my eyes! I can’t see! I’m f*cking blind man! Owwww!
Man at podium: Move along now, nothing to see here anymore.
I purchased a lot of Krispy Kreme doughnuts yesterday, that is all.
Need a haircut bad, look like a slave that’s not allowed in the house.
One day I would like to write a poem just like Dr. Seuss, the man was brilliantly twisted. I bet he had some freaktacular late night visits. “Hear I want you to smash the jelly with your toes until I’m finished”- Dr. Seuss (not really, but wouldn’t that be applause worthy)
I honestly can’t remember if I’ve ever shared this in the past, so here we go again. My friend Josh is married with children. Back when he was not someone’s father and still single but dating his wife he got really drunk one night. After making out for some time he thought things were going to pick up fast. I guess they had been making out a little too long for Josh to feel comfortable with, he shouts out (keep in mind they’re in the “heat of the moment”) “Jesus Christ, will you suck my d*ck already!” Notice there is not question mark, cause while they both shared the story with me it did not sound like he was asking. By far, his best moment that I wasn’t there to see.
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