And no one noticed my d*ck was out...

I just found out that the cafeteria downstairs makes a pretty banging BACON, EGG and CHEESE SANDWICH!!!! Now that is how I like to kick off my Fridays.... and it's nice to see money was deposited into my account in the wee hours of the morning too.

Mother's Day is not a real holiday. There is said it. But, seeing how we all adore our mothers, we have to make her feel special on this day. I love my momula so I've been batting around some ideas for that special day. Please let me know if you have any, here's what I've got so far....

1. A 1st grader's report card who got A's. Might not be mine, but she always loved to see A's.




2. A snuff film that ends in song, she loves musicals.




3. A gas card.... she always find it funny to slide one amongst my gifts every holiday. Time for me to laugh when I give a $#!tty present.




4. A Teddy Roxpun




5. Weave, at least 20 ft.




6. A weekend getaway to the hostel from Hostel.... I think she'd get creative.




7. A glass jar of hugs




8. A Macaroni card




9. A tear away suit, so she can easily fight crime on her lunch break.




10. A Catwoman suit (what a terrible image) to match my Joker outfit for July 18th. No one I'd rather commit a crime with. Dark Knight b*tch, BLAAAATT.



11. Kisses, from yo luva



12. A written statement forgiving her for stealing all of my Sex and the City seasons (1-5).



13. A $100 million check.... to frame, never deposit. I don't want her laughed out of the bank.



14. Canned peaches, what?



15. World peace

Some of those might get a fake "Thank you ... Son", but for the most part I see an awkward stare and completely straight face as her reaction. I might have to keep it traditional.

As usual on Fridays I don't have much to say cause I have totally checked out already. Hope to see some of you at the Church show I'm doing in DC. He told me there were several comedians from our area... we'll see if I recognize any one that will be there. I have a feeling it will be like when I got up to Maryland and meet a bunch of people who "have been doing comedy for 11 years..." but I've never bumped into them or seen them before. And then of course, Lizard 2.0!!!! For the millionth time, it's called O'SHAUGHNESSY'S now. We should all be excited. As to be expected from most first shows, allow me to guess the lineup (I swear I haven't looked at the line-up since the day he sent out the e-mail, I'm on the list for week two) : Damone Miller, Bryson Turner, Hampton Yount, Aparna, Seaton Smith and more... now for the real list (I'm opening a window, finger's crossed that I can guess the d*ck riding in my sleep, Tyler S. knows I love him. We all d*ck ride a little... but not my momma love you momula) ahem : Damone Miller, Jake Young, Adam Dodd, Seaton Smith, Herbie Gill and more!!!

Okay, I was pretty wrong. I like that, mixing it up some. I know Tyler S. was better than that. But, I'm going to leave the above paragraph right where it is so he can know I doubted him for a second. I'm human, I'm flawed. "Don't take me off week two Tyler!" Much love, TRich baby.

Laters everyone....